What is going on at Ford's corporate HQ? Have they all gone mad!?
a Ford Mustang commercial comes on and they're showing off the new ones that are coming out. New because they come with what they call "the pony package" of course they get this manly narrator for their commercial saying "Hurry in and get a 2007 Mustang with the pony package. . .that's over (however much it is) in upgrades"

Now when I hear "pony package" I can't help but think of "My Little Pony" toy-dom's answer to little girls for the "action figure" or "Transformers"

I got yer Pony Package right here baby!

"Pony Package" does NOT make me think of a sleek front Grille, performance spoiler or alloy wheels. Or if it should, I would imagine the car would look something like this:


Check it out homes, I gots tha pony package yo!

So I ask again, WTF Ford? "Super Doodie?" "Pony Package?" are you SERIOUS!?

Here's a new one for you conspiracy nuts out there. What's with Motorola Phone tools?
(in case you're not savvy, it's software you can put on your computer to interface with your USB connected mobile phone, you can manage your phonebook, text message from your PC, even connect to the internet through your phone. it's a cool piece of software!)
I got the latest version about 6 months ago and go through internet updates. Lately new elements within the software have been popping up and I'm noticing a trend: Motorola is under the impression that lesbians love mobile technology.

Maybe I'm waaaay off base here, but take a look at the startup banner when you first launch it:

That's either a guy on the left, or a butch lookin' girl, either way, it seems a little strange no?

At first I didn't think anything of it. but during the install they show several images like this. I got curious so then I started counting. 3 out of 5 of the images showed 2 girls together; hugging, and even one where it looks like they're holding hands. the other two images were of a guy alone listening to music on his phone and a guy and a girl taking a picture of themselves.

Still, I dismissed it as coincidence. I connected my phone and went into the multimedia studio to upload my own custom images and ringtones to my phone. BAM! right there in the lower left-hand corner what do I see?

ok, ok, maybe they're best friends, but still!

I'm sure Motorola has a ton of images of people using their phone. I'm positive that a lot of them are not just girls with girls, out of 5 images during the installer alone, they show girls with girls 3 times. normally I'd dismiss the pics, but seriously some of them seem a little strange or inappropriate (like the startup banner above, IF that is indeed a guy on the left, why is it so hard to tell?)

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, and I'm not saying they shouldn't be in there, I think I'm more curious as to "why?" (yes, I know; asking "why?" all the time is another standard male response)

But seriously. . .why?

Honda has the Ridgeline, Toyota has the Tundra, Nissan has the Titan, even Chevy has the Silverado. But not Ford baby, they had to come out with a truck called the "Super Duty"
I know it's immature, and I'll go into it in a sec, but every time I get behind a ford truck, I start snickering. You know what's worse? Their lighter/smaller trucks are called "Light" Duty.
This is not an excuse, (well maybe,) I have a 5 year old niece that finds some words hilarious. So anytime anyone mentions "Doodie" she laughs her little girl laugh and then says "doodies" like Homer Simpson says "heh, heh, Mule."

I have no idea what the Ford engineers were thinking naming the flagship of their company SUPER- Anything. Perhaps a bit boastful? Maybe they're describing what the truck is capable of? Did they not read my blog about Super-MAN being über-weak? The commercials are pretty bad too; you got this manly man showing you an exploded version of the engine that's in the truck. They cast him to be the "everyman" so when guys watch it, they're like "hey that's me!" I kid you not, look at his face when he says "Super Duty" it's like take 39 where he was able to keep a semi-straight face. Now imagine that commercial airing and my 5 year old niece notices he says "Super-Duty" Yup, you guessed it; "heh, heh, Super Doodies"

Add some lightning and a pegasus and/or lion with a guitar on it's back and it's an 80's hair band album cover.

I saw an ad for the truck in a magazine and I saw a little "TM" next to the Super Duty name. Really? It's Trade Marked? Don't worry Ford, I don't think the other truck makers are going to steal that little gem. . .
Remember when Ford started using Toby Keith as their spokesman? Goofy looking hat, sunglasses and an acoustic guitar painted up like the Ford symbol. I could almost hear all the bedroom doors slamming and the uncontrollable sobbing of all the Chevy driving country music freaks; "Damn you Ford-driving Toby, I HATE YOU"

He's a Ford-truck man, that's all he drives. . .

So, going along with naming their cars to describe what they are or what they can do, what can we expect to see next? Will other car companies follow suit? The VW bug will henceforth be known as the "VW fall-apart" the Toyota Prius will become the Toyota "fugly" and all SUV's will be renamed "El chupa-gasolina" (or the gas-sucker) Come test drive the new Ford POS:

appealing to the new hip-trendy bastard youth

Did you get your bracket set? Where's your bracket? Who do you have going all the way in your bracket? You want to see my bracket? How did your bracket do today?
bracket, Bracket, BRACKET!

SHADDAP!

Every damn year I hear the same retarded conversations about NCAA College basketball. I don't care if you want to waste your time with a stupid piece of paper with an even lamer sport for the entire month of March, just don't try to force me to get involved.

I had a guy come up to me at work and asked me politely if I wanted to take part in a March Madness pool and had a set of brackets for me to fill out. I politely declined and thought that was the end of it. That's where the pleasantries ended;

He stars pushing: "come on, everyone else is doing it" I'm thinking, what, do I look like I'm 5 years old or something? Because that's the last time I remember "everyone else is doing it" convinced me to do something.

C'mon, Everyone else is wearing their pants halfway off their ass. . .

I again politely stated "no thanks." Stupidly he keeps pestering me, meanwhile I'm trying to get some work done. After 2 more min. of him trying to convince me to fill out this stupid piece of paper, I finally say "fine, just leave it there and I'll get to it when I can" He then states "it's a $5 pool entry. The winner takes all" I shoo him away by waving and saying "yeah, yeah"

So as I'm leaving for the day, I quickly scribble in team names:
UNC Bears, CU Buffs, CSU Rams, DU Pioneers, CC Tigers, Aims Aardvarks, Front Range Whatever the hell their mascot is, The Pirates, Colorado Avalanche, The Crush, The Nuggets, The Rockies, The Broncos, The Mammoth, The Ice, The Rapids, The Eagles.
At the bottom of my bracket I put in big Capital Letters: "Avalanche all the way baby!"

HELL YEAH!

I then proceed to draw a $5 bill on a post-it, slap it on my bracket along with my name and leave it on that guy's desk. (at least it was a green post-it)

A couple of days later the guy wastes more company time by making a spreadsheet of everyone's results in a week-by-week format. The only reason I know this is because everyone else is talking about it. An evil grin creeps across my face and I send the guy an e-mail asking him "Hey, how come my bracket isn't on the spreadsheet?"
The dumb bastard doesn't even reply. To top it off now when we pass in the hall I simply look at him and his head lowers a little bit.
I have to fight back the urge to say "see? that's what happens when you try to f**k with me when I'm trying to work!"

I have nothing against people who like basketball; Personally I can't stand it and I think it's a gigantic waste of time, but that's just my opinion. (I'm sure people feel the same way about hockey, they're just smart enough to keep their opinions to themselves around me) I also don't try to cram hockey down everyone's gullet every chance I get.
Besides, I can't remember the last time a hockey player started necking his teammate when their team wins:

Journey Of Reconciliation - by Mortification

His eyes could hardly see the long road ahead
Blood and sweat dripped down His face as He was lead
His body was beaten, far beyond repair
They thought He was just a man
But He was God

This man was not guilty of any sin
He had done nothing wrong, He was innocent
He chose to take all the world's wrong
And take it down to the abyss

The journey continued to the place called the Skull
Step by step He staggered on, the sky was getting dull
On and on He kept up with this pain He must take
He went through this when will the world wake?

Jesus Christ is the only Son of God
He did all this for you because He loved you

Many were weeping many more laughing
Many were mocking many were scorning
This man would do what no one understood
The sacrifice was made by God's own right hand

At last the arrival at Calvary's hill
They tore off his robe and naked He stood
They nailed Him to a cross they got their wish
But in three days they'd never guess

He rose from the grave!
He rose from the dead!
He rose from the grave!
He rose from the dead!

[Matt 27:32-44]
[John 19:17-24]
[Mark 16:1-8]
[Mark 15:21-32]
[Luke 24]
[John 20:1-8]
[Luke 23:26-43 Matt 28:1-8]
[John 19]