I was at the New West Fest on Saturday and spent some time at the Next NC booth. You might not have recognized me as I wasn't wearing my red coat and I forgot to put on my big anime eyes. Sorry you all missed an opportunity to punch me in the face. . . maybe "Next" time!

Anyway, I was walking around, taking in the sights and listening to the bands, some good, some not so good. I found myself getting more and more irritated, but I couldn't figure out why. I stopped and thought about it for a sec.

Was it the people?
No. I'm always generally irritated with stupid people who always seem to show up to festivals. (even when it's raining, which it was for the better part of the morning.)
Was it the booths?
No. There was genuinely something for everyone which I found more suprising and odd than irritating. There were at least 4 places where you could get a spinal examination; THAT alone was cool, but the signs were even cooler. (one of the booths was all white, it looked like they stole a room from a hospital and plopped it in the middle of the fest. complete with it's own nurse.)

I decided to pay attention next time I felt another tinge of irritation to see if I could figure out what was making my eye involuntarily twitch.
EUREKA!
it didn't take too long at all. This group of little bastard 15 year olds passed by and I figured it out: as they were walking I was hearing this scratching noise; it was them dragging their feet. A couple of minutes later, another person was doing it, but this guy had to be closer to my age. I realized my irritation was with the fact that almost every other person was too lazy to walk without dragging their feet. even that little dragging sound (scratch, plop. scratch, plop) was like nails on a chalkboard. What's worse is that when they would walk faster, the noise would go faster.
Now, I'm not saying you have to be a fitness expert, but Good God! I remember doing that when I was like 5 years old when I was sulking and wanted to go home.
Excuses I've heard are:
It was cold and rainy, so it made people glum
It changed temperature in the middle of the day so it made people glum
It was hot, so it made people glum
News flash idiots! Welcome to Colorado! It's possible to have all 4 seasons in one day! That's no excuse for being lazy. PICK UP YOUR DAMN FEET!

TO THE WOMEN AT NEW WEST FEST
Just because a guy is in the same aisle as you, and it's just the two of you doesn't mean he's automatically trying to pick you up, or is going to have something perverted to say to you. I don't care if you're in the supermarket or at a booth at a festival.
GET OVER YOURSELF.
Don't give me the stink-eye, make that stuck up sniffing sound and walk off with your nose in the air. It's a good way to get punched in the back of the head.
I better have done something disgusting to you or at you to deserve that; NOT just standing there in your general vicinity.

Good candidate for a slap in the face.

And if you ARE that girl;
I was looking at the same pendant keychains you were looking at. NOT AT YOU MORON!

I just moved to Greeley from Longmont and I notice 2 things immediately:

1. People don't know how to F***ing drive (though a previous entry of mine should have clued me in)

2. A LOT of the white guys my age talk like black people on TV.

I moved into a pretty big duplex on the east side of town that is nice, a decently quiet neighborhood (except for "lil john" across the street always playing his crappy music really loud out of his peice of shit yellow ford focus.)

The other half of the duplex is separated by my garage, their garage and the wall to the kitchen/Dining area (I thank THE LORD for this, and you'll see why in a sec) My bedrooms and living room are on the other side of the duplex so even if my neighbors make a lot of noise I only have to hear it if I'm in the kitchen. (and even then, they have to YELL for me to hear it)
The company I'm renting this place from has a maintenence crew that goes out and fixes up places when people have moved out. Lucky me, my neighbors moved out around the same time I moved in. Their "Crew" consists of 2 white guys in a Eddie bauer ford explorer that show up at 10pm and don't quit "working" till about 3 in the morning.

I had the misfortune to hear these idiots talking while I was outside. This is the summation of what I heard:

"yo, so what did she say bro?"  "She be all like, blaming me that I was talking shit"
"That's MESSSED up yo!"  (I can only assume the other idiot is on the phone at this time.) "Ho, ho, ho, wait up, you think I said what?"

DAMMIT! I guarantee you their parents don't talk like that and if they do, They should NOT have procreated!  (Which brings up my recurring thought: there should be an IQ test to procreate, if you're a dumbass, prepare to live a celebate life!)

It's damned annoying to hear anyone talk like this, but it's 10x more annoying to hear white guys talk like this. (and dress like rappers too, that's just embarrasing!)

Does anyone take them seriously? Do they take themselves seriously?

These guys should be castrated so that we don't have to deal with their idiot illigitimate kids. I'm all for equality too; girls who talk like this should have their tubes tied by a marine so we know it's never going to come undone.

I made the mistake of turning on the Discovery channel last night before I went to bed.

10:00pm - 1:00am: Grizzly Man

A 3 hour documentary about the dumbest asshole ever to have lived. I watched like 20 min. of it before I decided "this can't be real!" I tried to rationalize with myself because if it was real, it would have been scary. . .F***ing DUMB scary! I had heard of the film before, but thought it was a satire (because of some of the clips) because it's 3 hours long however, I slept a bit uneasily. . .

Out of morbid curiosity I checked the internet this morning and much to my horror I see that this jackass really did exist. The cover to the documentary makes him look like this incredible guy standing right next to a bear:

Yes, that is a Cannes film festival award it shows at the top. Yes it's OK to scream. . .

Just based on some of the comments of the people that were interviewed, I desperately wanted it to be a satire and in a LOT of ways it really seemed like it. They interviewed the pilot of the Helicopter that found the remains of him and his girlfriend half eaten by bears. The pilot said something like: "he got what he deserved." I guess throughout the whole movie that's what everyone says. Then I get to see his footage. he's walking up to bears like they're his buddy!

I read an article on him by people from the World Wildlife Federation and they never considered him a real expert on anything and in fact condemns him for interacting with the bears and even some foxes. The reason: Human interaction with any animals will give them a sense of false security about ALL humans (hence the signs that might as well be stapled to your forehead when going to ANY national park: DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. This should include any interaction, but there isn't a lot of ways to prevent or enforce that.

in the 20 min. I saw, they talked to some of the people who created some stupid group with this guy and they had absolutely nothing relevant to say. They looked and sounded like idiots. (adding to the fuel and hope that this wasn't real)
He would name the damn bears and interfere in their territory, all the while yelling at the bears "I love you" in this sick sadistic voice like nails on a chalkboard. You mess with a bear's environment, you might as well be suicidal. ESPECIALLY when it comes to Grizzly Bears. 20 years of National Geographic films should have told him that. I just can't believe someone wasted 3 hours of film on this moron. The guy who filmed it is probably an even bigger idiot and somehow conned his way into getting an award from Cannes. NOTHING that I saw of the film garnered anything that I could call "Remarkable" or "Award worthy" and has moved the whole idea of Cannes down a couple of notches to me.
I give you the same advice that a very wise man gave the crew of the Lewis & Clark in "Event Horizon"

LIBERATE TUTEMAE EX INFERIS

(SAVE YOURSELF FROM HELL)

Without fail, every day that I drive home, there's always several dumbasses who have no idea how to drive.

Imagine if you will, a standard intersection; Two lanes going in all 4 directions. Now, Imagine if they widened that intersection to allow for a 3rd lane, again in all 4 directions, to allow for turning. If I've blown your mind, just look below:


Simple. no? (the unseen are the other lanes across and to the side of this intersection) I haven't even added stoplights, crosswalks, dotted/solid lines, or even utilities. EVEN IF you treated this as a 4 way stop (which you MUST if there are no other clear markings, or if there is no power) this is easy to understand RIGHT!? RIGHT!?
EVERY DAY, and I mean EVERY. . .DAMN. . .DAY I'll be in the turning lane patiently waiting for my time to turn when not one, not two, but SEVERAL dumbasses try to turn into MY lane! When they see me there, I see them dramatically turn the steering wheel and they wind up in the FAR lane for the turn they just tried:

I think they're trying to pull some BS like the next diagram. but hey it's not like they don't have TWO FRICKEN LANES they can use to turn into, they have to take a 3rd?!!


Folks, lets not even mention the fact that if you turn into the far lane, that's considered poor driving practice! Every once in a while I'll get some a-hole who slams on his/her breaks and gives me this dirty look like "awww, why you gotta be there?" I don't even bother flipping them off anymore, what's the point? I simply wave them off dismissively. . .(which pisses them off even more sometimes)
I heard someone say, "Well maybe they're driving an SUV or big truck or something, and they need more room" DAMMIT people! If you can't control your vehicle, you SHOULDN'T be driving it! I heard some idiot cowboy say (with this aire of intelligence:) "Well, bigger cars can't turn that well when going fast, it's physically impossible" ARE YOU SERIOUS!? DO I SERIOUSLY HAVE TO SUGGEST THAT THEY SLOW THE HELL DOWN?
In defense of people who know how to drive bigger vehicles, I see idiots in little honda CRX's do this too. I think my biggest issue is with those bastards who have way too much money go out and buy the latest Hummer. Congratulations asshole, you're the reason they had to make it smaller!
again I say to you: driving is a lot like flying a plane; would you fly in public airspace if you didn't know how your plane moved? If it was hard to control your plane, and you "needed more room" do you seriously think you'd be able to successfully pilot the plane without crashing? IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE YOUR CAR PROPERLY, MAYBE YOU SHOULD PRACTICE! (like in Wal-Mart's parking lot. I love it when I see cars taking up 2 spaces because they don't know how to PARALLEL PARK!)
you think I'm exaggerating? try me! take a look at your "fellow" drivers and see if you don't see what I see: DUMBASSES!