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Owning their next-generation video game consoles, Derrik J. Lang and Ryan Pearson wondered if the relationships were meant to last.
To find out, Pearson evaluated his Nintendo Wii and Lang his PlayStation 3 using eHarmony's seven core traits and vital attributes (http://tinyurl.com/yjfjs2 ).
In the words of the Web site, here are the reporters' powerful portraits of who the systems are at the deepest level.
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EMOTIONAL TEMPERAMENT
eHarmony Says: "How do you feel about yourself and about the world? While specific day-to-day and moment-to-moment events play a major role in our emotions, deep seated patterns of emotion are also a fundamental part of who you are and how people perceive you."
Lang: Normally, I'm cool-headed. But my PS3 can be so technologically frustrating sometimes. Like that time I couldn't get it to connect to my wireless router. (http://asap.ap.org/stories/1073943.s ) However, once I sorted out the glitches, my PS3 and I coexisted in beautiful 1080p high-definition harmony.
Pearson: Not that I'm a grump, but My Wii is a bit too happy for me. It gets so excited when it has something new for me to download that it flashes a distractingly bright blue. And it's constantly sending me messages telling me cheerfully how much I've played so far that day. Look Wii, I don't need a reminder I was stuck in the first "Zelda" dungeon for three hours.
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SOCIAL STYLE
eHarmony Says: "How do you relate to other people? Do you crave company, or prefer to be alone? Are you more comfortable leading, or do you prefer to go along with the group? Basic feelings such as these comprise an important aspect of who you are, and who you will be most compatible with."
Pearson: My Wii is perfect in this regard, offering no live online gaming. I can't be bothered to break out of my tight circle of friends and don't want to deal with 16 simultaneous online competitors like 'maddenman2348.' Instead, there are a ton of party games, "Rayman Raving Rabbids" and "Wii Sports" the best among them, that I can play with three — just three — compadres in person.
Lang: Unlike Ryan, I'm a social butterfly. I enjoy an intense hour-long "Resistance" deathmatch on my PS3 or a quick "GripShift" race with a stranger. Most of my real-life friends aren't into video games so anonymously logging onto the PlayStation Network as 'martinidrinker' allows me to quench my thirst of gaming geekiness.
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COGNITIVE MODE
eHarmony Says: "How do you think about the world around you? Are you motivated by an insatiable curiosity about the world and events around you? Are you constantly looking for intellectual challenges? Do you find humor to be your favorite coping strategy when dealing with the world?"
Lang: Yes! Unfortunately, my PS3 does not agree. It's a stiff, analytical powerhouse who's more into highly detailed games of athletic logic or first-person strategy than witty narrative or open-ended gameplay. If PS3 had a more diverse selection of games, we might be more cognigtive-y together.
Pearson: My Wii wants to talk about the weather; it wants to share the simple joys of the Internet with me. And yes, it's rather silly — with cartoonish avatars called Miis plus a funky program for painting on my digital photos that features bright pink lips and sunglasses. I'm always chuckling: You crazy Wii, you. In response, it glows blue.
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PHYSICALITY
eHarmony Says: "How do you relate physically with the world? How do you relate physically with yourself? Are you energetic, athletic and constantly in motion? Or are you more comfortable and happy walking than running?"
Lang: This is where the PS3 and I mesh most. We both believe physical activity and video game play should be separate activities. We just don't understand the Wii. If I wanted to go bowling or play tennis, well, I'd put down the rechargeable Sixaxis controller and go outside.
Pearson: Look, everybody's done it. While playing games, you naturally move your body the way you want to go — you peek your head around corners in shooting games, etc. My Wii understands that. It wants to get moving with me, it wants me to throw footballs in Madden. My Wii tires me out, sure, but it's a happy tired.
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VALUES AND BELIEFS
eHarmony Says: "Values and Beliefs are at the center of most of our life experiences. How we feel about spirituality, religion, family and even politics form an enormous part of how we think about the world, and who we are going to be most comfortable sharing our lives with."
Pearson: My Wii hasn't opened up to me about politics — a News Channel featuring AP reports hasn't yet launched. But on the red state-blue state divide, I'd have to say it's blue. Did I mention it glows blue sometimes?
Lang: I'm not sure about PS3's political stance — it sorta glows red — but I do believe it worships racing games. While PS3 doesn't have a single great role-playing game, there are eight separate titles that go vroom. The upcoming "MotorStorm" is the best among them. Consider me converted.
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RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
eHarmony Says: "The amount of effort and skill that you devote to making a relationship work are key elements of who you are, and what type of person you are most likely to succeed with in a relationship."
Lang: Not that I'm commitment-phobic or anything, but the PS3 is often very needy. It's always asking me to update. I'm always having to check in with the PlayStation Store for new downloadable content. Sometimes I just want to turn it on, get my jollies and turn it off. Not always that easy when a high price is involved.
Pearson: Mine's needy in a different ways. The Wii's controllers — fantastic in all other ways — are like AA battery junkies. I was about to check it into Battery Abusers Anonymous but went with rechargeables instead. Otherwise, though, my Wii is easygoing — I just pop in a disc and it automatically turns on, ready to play.
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KEY EXPERIENCES
eHarmony Says: "All of your life experiences combine to affect who you are and how you relate to the world."
Pearson: My Wii is nostalgic, and I like that. It wants to share the memory of games gone by — Super Mario Bros., the original Sonic, etc. — by reliving them through $5-and-up downloads.
Lang: So is PS3 — except you can only use the console to download them to your PSP. And there's nowhere near the depth of Nintendo's gaming library. I don't know. With more experience and more games, I think what my PS3 and I have between us could last.
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Derrik J. Lang is an asap reporter based in New York and blogger for The Slug (http://asapblogs.typepad.com/theslug/ ). Ryan Pearson is an asap reporter based in Los Angeles.
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