|
FOOD — I had a ball. And then another |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Written by Rebecca Boone, asap
|
|
Wednesday, 09 August 2006 |
|
|
|
|
Eds: Note puns on and references to the word “nut” and “ball” throughout, which may offend some readers.
 |
AP/Courtesy of Rebecca Boone
You know Rocky Mountain oysters are really calf testicles, right?
|
EAGLE, Idaho — Garlic and onion, teriyaki, original -- the farther I got down the buffet line, the higher they piled it on my now grease-soaked plate. At least, until I got to the guy dishing out the hot-n-spicy variety.
“Um, I don’t think you want any of these,” he told me, eyeing my obviously pregnant belly. “They’re pretty hot.”
Yeah, I thought. I’m about to eat a plateful -- or at least a couple -- of sliced and fried calf testicles, and he’s worried a little cayenne pepper’s going to be the hardest thing to digest? Bring it on.
I was a novice at Eagle, Idaho’s annual Rocky Mountain Oyster Festival. Though I’d stopped by the festival a few years before, I hadn’t dared to eat any of the eponymous food, in spite of my husband’s assurances that they “weren’t that bad.” Ever since, he’d given me a slightly pitying look any time the oyster festival was mentioned, and this year I was determined I’d prove my mettle and eat one of the darn things. Even though I’m not particularly fond of gizzards, sweetbreads or other innards. Even though my girlfriends all thought I was, uh, nuts. Even though I was pregnant, and so had to eat them completely sober -- a feat few first-timers try.
 |
|
AP/Courtesy of Rebecca Boone
All the Rocky Mountain oysters you can eat.
|
The festival is fondly referred to as the “nut feed” by locals. It’s a highly successful fundraiser for the Eagle Fire Department, judging by the crowds and the $22 ticket price. Some attendees are regular, showing up for their love of the fire department, love of fried reproductive organs or love of the beer that flows freely at the festival. Others are naive, actually believing they’re shelling out cash for oysters of the ocean variety. And then there are those like me, who crave not the taste but the pride that comes with saying they were brave enough to eat some nuts. After all, some may grab life by the horns but the folks at the testicle festival rip off its balls with their teeth, chew ’em up and swallow ’em.
I stood in line for my share of the oysters next to Rebecca Jones, a Boise-area resident who grew up on a ranch. For Jones, the festival is nostalgic -- she grew up helping her father castrate the calves, hoisting a bucket of balls home from the fields to be cooked for dinner. Her friend, Lisa -- who would only give her first name, lest her other buddies find out she actually tried eating calf nuts -- was lured to the festival without knowing exactly what to expect.
“I thought they were serving oysters on the half shell,” she confessed. “I love gizzards, though, so if they taste like that I’ll be fine.”
Well, sort of. The breading, like any fried breading, was delicious. The stuff inside was a little chewy, and the flavor was largely covered up by the seasonings in the breading. But after I downed four or five tiny slices, of which there was more breading than oyster, I gathered my courage and took a big bite of a larger slice. A little stringy. A little stretchy. A little gamey. A little ... quick, pass the water. I’ll say this for the firefighters. They make a mean baked potato, which thankfully is included in the meal.
After my husband cleaned his plate and I demolished said potato, we ventured over to Eagle Fire Department Association President Dan Daniels to see just how successful this year’s Rocky Mountain Oyster Festival was. As in previous years, the festival grounds were packed with paying customers all day long, he said -- a good sign for the fundraiser, especially when the cash flow is dependent on getting people to eat calf nuts. It appeared that a local controversy surrounding the festival’s somewhat risque ad campaign -- which featured a cartoon steer angrily bemoaning the loss of his bullhood to the festival -- did little to dampen sales.
I asked Daniels how he felt about the evening’s fare, and if he had to wait until all the tourists and other attendees were done eating before he could go back for seconds.
“Not me, I’ve never had one,” Daniels said. “Every year I cut up 800 pounds or so of those things, cutting them in half, peeling that skin back. There’s no way I’d eat one -- I’ve seen what they look like when they come in.”
———
FURTHER READING:
Eagle Fire Department: http://www.eaglefire.org
Ad spots for the festival: http://www.youtube.com/watch?vdJVQigUF3UM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v4mCa86QqvmA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?vJ4WjvR5piv8
Spoofs of the festival’s ad campaign: http://victimizedbull.blogspot.com
http://supportforbullswhohavehadtheirballscutoffandeaten.org/
———
asap contributor Rebecca Boone is an Associated Press reporter based in Boise, Idaho.
| Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register. |
|
|  | "Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth." | |
|  | We're not that bright, even though in our own little world, we're geniuses. We like 80s hair bands and one-hit wonders, but among us we have respectable tastes, too. Metallica, Iron Maiden, U2. Pursuit of all things trivial is a lifestyle, not just a game. We like some sports, love other sports, and can find something to say about anything. We watch TV and movies and we've read a book or two, even a few classics (Yes, Classic Comics count!)
We call it insight, you call it what you will. | |
|  | Felix Wong is an outdoor enthusiast living in Fort Collins. A mechanical engineer by day, he is especially passionate about bicycling, running, and backpacking. | |
|  | Hola Amigos! I'm Sandra. I like to believe that people are 70 percent good and 30 percent dumb. I'm stickin to that story. Reading this blog might make you want to be good, but probably just dumb. | |
|  | Donovan Henderson is editor of NEXTnc. | |
|  | Here at Nextnc we have some characters. Get a sneak peak behind the curtain and find out what amusing antics our staffers get themselves into on a weekly basis. | |
|  | What is up FoCo?
I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
--Drew | |
|  | Life's little morsels of inspiration, observation and encouragement seen through the eyes of the Nextnc reporter.
| |
|  | Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado where she stars in her own private reality show. She writes aphoristic accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. | |
|  | over and out | |
| | My name is Michelle Turley and I'm 28 years old. I live in Severance with my hubbie, Brandon. We have 2 dogs and a cat. We enjoy camping, four-wheeling, and just being in the mountains. I like to cook, clean (go figure), flea market, and play poker. I have so much to say about poker... | |
|
|
