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Life Lessons Learned only in College PDF Print E-mail
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Written by Andrew Olson - View Profile   
Tuesday, 30 January 2007
After a long night on the town, remember to pass out on your stomach. Contrary to popular 'chiropratic' beliefs, sleeping on you back is not most health conscious position. And when you wake up to a rank smell, roll away, away I say! You don't really want to go out Hendrix style do you?
It is only o.k. to impersonate Gene Kelly and "Singing in the Rain" after 20 plus shots.
No one leaves until the keg is dry.
If you're playing beer pong, and girls are around, they are the only ones who can 'blow' out a spinner. No exceptions here guys.
The best way to insulate a keg is in the hollowed out trunk of a tree, insulated with wood shavings. Really.
Although extremely funny; it is not a good idea to go skinny dipping in late October, and upon exiting, shout, "I have STS, Scared Turtle Syndrome" or "My (male appendage) Hates Me!"
Good friends don't keep friends from getting in trouble, they get in trouble with them.
Up to 76 people can fit into a 2 bedroom apartment.
Teamwork: Can entail giving someone a lift for a keg stand or holding them up to take another hit.
When talking about a bong at a good party, you'll need to specify a bit more.
When someone says I DD'ed last nite, it usually means: Designated Drinker or Drove Drunk.
Being an alcoholic is a full-time job, and does take dedication.
If you don't remember her name or what she looks like; it isn't cheating.
If you close down a bar nite after nite, soon you'll be paying for half of what you drink.
Karaoke is obligatory.
Dropping a $120 dollar tip on St. Patrick's Day is good for everyone.
It's o.k. to have a beer before your 8 o'clock class, and is neccessary with a hangover.
If you're good, you can get blasted 5 out of 7 nights and keep a 3.85 GPA.
Bros before Ho's & Chicks before Di**s; except when there is someone of the opposite sex in the room.
If you're playing Catergories, and are to the left of the person who drew Waterfall, you have a 50/50 chance of puking.
Alcohol kills the slowest brain cells first, so tip it back!
--Drew

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DrewRavings, rantings, and gibberish. (36)
writen by: Drew
 
What is up FoCo? I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado. I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks. Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know! --Drew


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