I just started dating a guy who is pretty good looking, but he has potential to look even better. He could be a cross between Christian Slater and Ty Pennington. All he needs is a hair cut, some new clothes, and possibly a tool belt. How can I change his look without hurting his feelings?

Sassy Lady with Unusual Taste

Dear S.L.U.T.

Your question makes me nostalgic for my old flame, Joe. He had the best body and he would let me dress him any way I wanted. I remember how hot he looked driving around in his cute little jeep wearing head-to-toe camo. Unfortunately, our relationship was doomed from the start. It turns out that he wasn’t anatomically correct, and when I caught him on top of Barbie in the toy chest, I had to kick him to the curb. The last I saw of him, he was wearing nothing but combat boots and a blank stare. Lite Brites and Easy Bake ovens may come and go, but you never forget your first boy toy.

Back to your question. If your guy has bendable parts and a brain, he most likely makes his own clothing and hair decisions. But, should he ask for your assistance, by all means suggest a visit to Sears to pick up some Ty-wear. Or take him to the Lost and Found at your local rehab center to get that strung out Christian Slater look. But, buyer beware. You need to be willing to accept makeover suggestions from your boyfriend, as well. Clothing shouldn’t be an issue, what with your plastic breasts and one inch waist, but as far as I know, they don’t sell personalities with substance at the Gap.

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