I used to occupy my time with normal hobbies like playing tennis or shopping. But my newest passion is far beyond anything normal and healthy. It is consuming me.

My name is Heather and I’m addicted to celebrity gossip.

I can tell you several theories about why Paris and Nicole now hate each other. I can go off in as many directions about why Brad and Jen broke up. When I meet someone new, my first question is always “Team Aniston or Team Jolie?” And don’t even get me started on Nick and Jessica.

Every week I tell myself I won’t buy People magazine or US Weekly, and every week I fail. Miserably.

I’ll be in the check-out line at the grocery store and there will be Jennifer Aniston’s tear-streaked face on the cover of some gossip rag, practically begging me to buy it. Read my side of the story, she weeps. Next to Aniston’s photo is invariably one of Ms. Jolie, smirking as if to say, “I won, bee-yotch!”

It’s celebrity smack-down. Weekly, glossy magazine-style and I LOVE IT.

It’s the photos that always sucker me in. I’ve tried just glancing at photos while waiting line but it’s never enough. I always want more.

Growing up in northern Colorado is far from glamorous. But with $3.49, a diet coke and an hour to kill, I can be transported backstage at the Oscars. The dresses! The gossip!

My favorite photos are when the paps (that’s paparazzi to you squares) catch a celebrity without full hair and make-up. Goldie Hawn actually looks her age (112, for those who are counting) without her make-up. Even better is a photo spread in US Weekly. Titled simply “Stars — They’re Just Like US!” this weekly feature shows photos of famous people doing unglamorous things. Hilary Duff cleaning up after her dog. Jerry Seinfeld laughing at a parking ticket. Paris Hilton... well, shopping.

But it doesn’t stop with the glossies.

I’ve found kindred spirits in several online gossip columns. The online writers aren’t nearly as blatant at kissing celebrity ass. In fact, they can be downright caustic. My current regiment involves reading three, yes three, columns every day. One is a blog that is updated throughout the day. You know what that means — I am constantly checking for new info about Lindsay Lohan’s latest health crisis and Katie Homles’ latest brainwashing. So deep and intense is this fixation that I have been known to pick out the best gossip, put it together in a nice document and e-mail it to my friends in the office.

And yet, my weekly US and People — of course, I buy both — and my multiple daily blog checks is not all.

My need for more has caused me to become a religious watcher of E! News. Those of you who don’t know what that means need only know this — watching E! News constitutes the height of addiction.

Until they find a name and a cure for this disease, or at least a support group, I am in trouble. But if you want to know the latest about what’s going on in the lives of the rich and famous, you know exactly where to go.

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