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March Madness at the office |
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Written by asap
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Wednesday, 07 March 2007 |
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Who in the world doesn’t love March Madness? Hmm, perhaps your employer.
Even if you have not watched a college hoops game all year, even if you mix up the Badgers with the Buckeyes, the sports spectacle that engulfs the United States every March is impossible to ignore. Sixty-five teams, Cinderella stories sprouting like mushrooms, heartbreaking losses and impossible wins as the Davids of the NCAA gallantly battle its Goliaths. A true national champion, not some ruling by a questionable computer program.
It’s America’s own monthlong morality play, starting from the March 9-11 weekend the conference champions are decided and the invitations are handed out to the April 2 crowning of the men’s basketball champion. And it captures our attention like no other sporting event.
If you aren’t rooting for your alma mater, you are cheering the local university, or this year’s bracket-breaker, or the player having a standout tournament. Your friend’s sister might even know someone whose roommate once dated this year’s potential MVP candidate.
You get the picture.
One consulting firm estimated that U.S. businesses lost more than $820 million in productivity the week before the Super Bowl, as Americans planned elaborate parties, bought new TVs and organized betting pools.
But at least the NFL crowns its champion on a Sunday. March Madness dwarfs the Super Bowl simply for the length of time distractions go on and the fact that some early games are played during regular working hours.
So look into your conscience, take our March Madness productivity quiz, and face up to how much your employer might be subsidizing your basketball obsession!
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1) Exactly how much time does one need to organize the office pool?
a) 5 hours with a good computer program to distribute info, collect bets
b) A full week -- if you need to pad the pool with non-sports addicts
c) A week in February and all of March -- if you still use written ballots
d) Sky’s the limit -- nothing is better for company morale
———
2) How long should it take to fill out your 65-team, 4-bracket ballot?
a) 15 minutes: I always go by the tournament seeding
b) 1.5 hours: I try to toss in a few dark horses
c) 15 hours: first round is easy but the semifinals make me sweat
d) Four days: You need to do your research before you have a chance
———
3 The true odds of winning your office betting pool are:
a) 1 in Y, in which Y represents the number of entries in the pool
b) 65 x 32 x 16 x 8 x 4 x 2 multiplied by the number of entries
c) 1 in Y x 65 divided by the number of sportswriters in the pool
d) higher than playing New York Lotto, lower than church bingo
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4) When games begin at 1 p.m. EST on Thursday, it’s perfectly acceptable to:
a) catch part of a game on TV during your lunch hour
b) schedule a sales call, hit a sports bar with your client for the afternoon
c) take a sick day -- having so many teams lose so quickly is stressful
d) delay issuing your company earnings, it’s too hard to concentrate
———
5) When your favorite team loses, you
a) transfer your loyalties to the tournament’s Cinderella team
b) go on a bender, stay at home with a migraine
c) go to work but hide from colleagues just waiting to razz you
d) send threatening e-mails to the mascot of the team that won
———
6) What is the key factor that propels a team into the semis?
a) their defense -- the secret weapon of winning NCAA teams
b) their offense -- you can’t win unless you score
c) their mascot and band -- don’t underestimate school spirit
d) their uniforms -- bad colors got no TV karma
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7) When it comes down to the Final Four, which are you most likely to do?
a) spend a fortune on a last minute flight and scalped tickets in Atlanta
b) refuse to attend to your sister’s wedding, stay glued to the TV
c) medically speed up or delay the birth of your firstborn
d) scalp the tickets you bought months ago -- their value has soared
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8) The most embarrassing person to lose to in the tournament pool is:
a) the Red Sox fan in the next cubicle
b) your pompous boss
c) your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend
d) your mother-in-law
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Scoring:
1) d10 pts, b/c5, a0
2) d/c10, b5, a0
3) a10, d5, b/c0
4) d10, b/c5, a0
5) b/d10, c5, a0
6) a/b10, c5, d0
7) b/c10, a/d5
8) a/b/d10, c5.
65-80: You are single-handedly wrecking American productivity
50-64: You think everything is under control but your employer is losing out.
35-49: You are an average American worker distracted by March Madness.
Under 34: You might be a bore, but your employer is getting their money’s worth.
———
asap columnist Sheila Norman-Culp is on leave from her job as an AP supervisory editor. | Only registered users can write comments.
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