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How to find the love of your life in five minutes |
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Written by Jeff Herring, McClatchy-Tribune
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Monday, 12 March 2007 |
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Are you tired of going out on several dates with the same person only to discover that this is not the person for you?
You know how it goes. You go out on a few dates and think maybe there is something here for you. Then you find out that this person never wants kids and you do.
Another wasted few weeks. Or more.
But what if you could find out in 5 minutes whether a new person has the potential to be the love of your life? Would you like to know how to do that? Would that be cool?
One of the important skill sets in conscious dating it scouting-sorting-screening-testing. Scouting is looking around out in the world for people to whom you are attracted. Sorting is having conversations that tell you whether this is a person worth pursuing. Screening is doing things together and having longer conversations that tell you whether someone could be a life partner. Testing is doing life together to see if this is doable over the long haul.
The sorting stage, initial conversations, is where you can potentially find the love of your life in five minutes.
Welcome to the power introduction.
The power introduction is a casual conversation with powerful intentions. You don't ask someone a list of questions and judge them on the answers. You bring up in casual conversation topics that reflect what is important to you and pay attention to the kind of response you receive.
For example, if I have just met someone I think I might want to get to know better, I'm going to mention my two boys and my doing stuff with them. If this new person responds with "Two boys! How can you stand that? When do you ever get time to yourself?" I know I do not want to pursue this any further. If, on the other hand, the response I receive is "Wow, how much fun is that! You must be a really good Dad." This could be worth pursuing.
This is an example of a casual conversation with powerful intentions at the sorting level, when you have just met someone. So let's say you and this new person decide to have some dinner and go on a few dates. You are now at the screening level of getting to know someone.
You can use the same strategies while dating. Let's say that traveling is really important to you and for someone to be right for you they would have to want to travel also. So you are on your fourth date and thinking that this relationship could go somewhere. But when you mention your love of travel your date tells you they are a homebody and absolutely hate to travel. Aren't you glad to find this out early on than stumble on this information five months from now?
At the very least, using the "casual conversation with powerful intentions" strategy can save you some time. At the very best, this strategy can help you find the love of your life.
For more tips and tools for dating and relating please visit www.SecretsofGreatRelationships.com. | Only registered users can write comments.
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