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Digital Sex: The Evolution of Toys |
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Written by ASAP
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Wednesday, 05 April 2006 |
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Back in a more Puritanical time, they were called marital aids, hidden in the closet, a source of embarrassment for a woman who needed one to spice up her sex life — ahem — married sex life.
These days, marital aids are out of the closet and on the coffee table. Today’s modern woman hardly blushes when she hears “sex toys,” thanks in part to the frankness of sex-crazed women’s magazines and the girl talk of “Sex and the City.”
She’s carrying one on her key chain or in her purse. She’s hosting a sex toy party in her home. She’s recommending sex toys to her friends. “When my friends and I get together, they become part of the conversation, sex toys and sex in general,” says Taichelle Mitchell, 32, a customer service representative in Oakland, Calif. “I definitely elaborate on toys that will be helpful, especially for friends I know who are single.”
Media are pretty sexualized these days, says Sari Locker, author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex.” Characters on television shows casually discuss the latest devices, as though they were talking about a new pair of shoes. News programs, including “Primetime Live,” and “Dateline NBC” discuss them.
Sex toys are even in magazines other than Cosmopolitan (try Time and Oprah).
“We’re interested in any type of sexual behavior,” says Lou Paget, a sex educator and author of five books, including “The Big O: Orgasms.” “If people are interested in the subject, they are going to watch more of it. If they are watching more of it, people are going to produce more of it.”
And with popularity and candor, of course, comes an explosion of new and bizarre sex toys. “Five years ago, I can’t recall any vibrators with microchips, whereas now you can have several hundred patterns of vibrations,” says Sandor Gardos, a sex therapist who founded mypleasure.com, a Web site for sensual products. “We’re seeing more of a use of silicon. The toys are also more ergonomic, more artsy, less of an emphasis on trying to create anatomical devices and more on, if you saw it on the table, you might not know what it is.”
Vibrators today can feel like skin or be controlled by remote— even over the Internet. With the Doc Johnson Internet Enabled High Joy Rabbit, couples can make each other toy’s vibrate while they watch each other (on Webcam), text chat or talk on the phone. Talk about safe sex.
“We have a lot of couples who are in long distance relationships,” says Amir Vatan, president of High Joy. “They have done the phone sex thing and want to add a supplement to their relationship.” Timeka Drew, 25, of Los Angeles, has several sex toys, which she keeps in a velvet box on her night stand. She grew up in the kind of Catholic family that would faint if the words “sex toys” or “masturbation” or “orgasm” slipped out of her mouth.
She always thought sex toys were a pornographic thing until a friend sent her one more than a year ago. “My girlfriend sent me a Rabbit Habit (the brand touted by “Sex and the City”) and I was blown out of the water,” says Drew, who is not married but in a committed relationship. “I was like, ‘Why was I not using them before?’ I felt like every woman should have one of these. If you don’t have one, you’re definitely missing out.”
It doesn’t look like many women are missing out. According to a 2005 Global Sex Survey by condom maker Durex, nearly 50 percent of American women have had sex with a vibrator. That number grows to 70 percent when you’re talking about women 45-55. Durex polled 1,727 American women. Mitchell, a lesbian, says she feels more comfortable these days walking into a store and buying a vibrator. She has more than a dozen, including a couple on her key chain. (She says people come up to her all the time asking about her vibrating key chain).
“People are now more aware, so they are more curious on what else is out there,” says Mitchell. “I think there was a perception that using a sex toys is a nasty thing. It’s not a nasty thing. It’s definitely fun and exciting.” Of course, a sex toy won’t whisper in your ear.
But it can come close — a “talking head” vibrator allows women to download their lovers’ voices. It comes with interchangeable chips, each with a 3 minute, 20 second “scenario.” While some women still blush at the mention of sex toys, Mitchell says the candor has created more open dialogue. She bought her first toy 10 years ago and says she knows her body better than ever.
“It’s so good for women now,” says Drew, who has a 3-month old and runs a clothing line. “We’re always looking for different ways to control our sex lives. We want to control our level of fulfillment, our level of happiness. A sex toy helps us do that.” And surely, there will be new and interesting gadgets invented to help them. One day there will be a fully robotic sex machine. But will it make you pancakes in the morning? | |
HEY! I'm a Catholic!
Written by FullMetal Alchemist on 2006-04-06 14:58:31
while I could care less about the subject of Sex toys, I do have to remind everyone that the reason why they were hidden away is because Self-pleasure by masturbation or otherwise was considered immoral, and A SIN not only to Catholics, but any Christian denomination. (still is BTW) it has nothing to do with being afraid, and everything to do with living a clean and moral life. The road to hell is paved with roses. The road to heaven is paved with thorns. NEVER forget that. if it was easy to live clean/moral lives, everyone would be. it's easier to let morals slip by the wayside. it's easier to find pleasure in man made devices than to pray for a clean spirit. Desires of the flesh are fleeting. Salvation is eternal. What would feel better, to wait and experience it when in love? or to have experienced it so much that it doesn't mean anything anymore. Sex is supposed to be sacred and it's not anymore. I'm not judging anyone and again, I could care less. I'm not offended. I wouldn't let easily manipulated minds read this, but hey, it's a free country, you can read or not. Simple solution. it's not like people are gluing your eyelids to your forhead and forcing you to watch. If you're Anti-Catholic and you hate Christianity in general, Kiss my ass because I don't care. |
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