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Written by Jessica Yadegaran, McClatchy-Tribune
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Monday, 26 March 2007 |
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Your boss sends a mass e-mail to the team. She doles out the usual updates and assignments, and signs her e-mail, "Truly yours."
You choke on your latte. Truly whose? Shouldn't that be reserved for her child, husband or personal shopper? Yes, according to etiquette. But in our casual society, computer screens have replaced embossed letterhead, and no one appears to be over-thinking the way they end e-mails.
"E-mail's sort of a representation of this informal society we live in," says Jeff Steele, the Chicago-based author of "Email: The Manual" (Marion Street Press). "We're more informal in dress, manner and communication, but that doesn't mean the person on the other end of your e-mail doesn't want to be addressed properly."
Perhaps you've never pondered it. You just shoot off the e-mail with no salutation or sign-off. But the way you begin and end an e-mail is a reflection of your respect for the recipient, Steele says.
"It shows him or her that you're not too busy to show some courtesy. Imagine what that recipient is thinking when they get one monolithic block of copy with no salutation and closing."
Before signing his name, James Wickstrom of Pleasant Hill, Calif., puts a "Thanks" at the end of his e-mails. "It's respectful," he says. His friend, Andre Gharagozian of Oakland, Calif., favors "Cheers."
"I used to put all sorts of stuff at the bottom of e-mails, like 'Rock on,"" Gharagozian says. "But as I got older I stopped doing that. I think it's inappropriate."
Anything goes with friends and loved ones. But one should be careful with work-related e-mails, especially when you consider the range of ages and backgrounds in one office.
"Once upon a time, a business letter was often dictated to a secretary who knew all the protocol," Steele says. "It was formal, yet official and respectful. My dad came into his career in the early '50s. If he addressed his business associate, it was with 'How do you do?' or 'Good afternoon.'"
If you receive an e-mail from Chloe Hedden, a freelance illustrator in Oakland, it will always end with "Best wishes," whether you're her client or her friend.
"It is kind, not too formal, but formal enough," Hedden says. "It can mean anything that recipient wants and reflects my true intentions: that I want only the best for them, whatever that might mean on an individual basis."
We've all seen emoticons in our e-mails. Those yellow smiley faces with the varying degree of toothiness. But at work?
"That's as inappropriate as coming to work in your pj's," Steele says. "Always err on the side of professionalism."
Dating, on the other hand, is different.
Online dating expert Todd Anthony of Yahoo Personals loves emoticons. In fact, symbols of any kind are a great way to show personality, he says. He feels the same way about "xoxo" or the ubiquitous :-).
"It's ambiguous enough that it's not implying anything in particular but a mild interest," Anthony says.
Since many relationships begin online, you can imagine how much subtext people find in e-mail closings. In the beginning, Anthony recommends ending with a question.
"It shows interest," he says.
E-mailing at night? Anthony suggests "Sleep tight," "Sweet dreams," or, if you're feeling daring, "Kisses." Another smooth closing is an invitation to see each other. Avoid: "Regards" (too formal), "Yours truly" (too presumptuous) and "Sincerely" (unless you're a boomer).
"I don't think the younger generation takes into account the sincere part of 'Sincerely,"" Anthony says.
And then, of course, there's the close friend or wife who you e-mail dozens of times a day. They may just sign their name, initials or not close the e-mail altogether.
"The sign-off has really taken a hit in our e-mail culture," Anthony says. "We're communicating by text so often now that it almost seems like a chore."
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THE SIGN-OFFS
Be it for business or pleasure, what does the way you sign an e-mail say about you?
• Best: A classic. Short for Best Regards or Best Wishes.
• Sincerely: A standby. Perfect for business and formal relationships.
• Cheers: Reveals a fun streak, but still fine for work purposes.
• Thanks: Respectful and appropriate, especially if you're asking someone for something.
• Regards: As formal as Sincerely. Short for Warm Regards.
• Yours: Too emotional. Save for friends, loved ones and committed relationships. Short for Yours Truly.
• Love: A loaded word. Save for those you love.
• Take Care: Fine for work, but a bit foreboding for the dating world. Hints at "It's over. Have a nice life."
Sources include Jeff Steele, Todd Anthony | Only registered users can write comments.
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