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Kiss and tell not worth 'Dirt' |
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Written by Maureen Ryan, McClatchy-Tribune
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Wednesday, 28 March 2007 |
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I took a bullet for the team this week: I watched the "Dirt" finale.
It's more accurate to say I forced myself to watch the finale of the dreadful FX drama starring Courteney Cox as a tabloid editor, which aired Tuesday.
I had to screen the finale, because people (OK, maybe just a few people) might be wondering about its much-advertised kiss between Cox's character, Lucy Spiller, and a rival magazine editor played by Cox's old "Friends" castmate, Jennifer Aniston.
So, here's the full report on the kiss: In the scene that preceded it, Spiller and Tina Harrod (Aniston) had lunch in Spiller's office. Spiller's job as editor of the celebrity rag DirtNow was in jeopardy, and she thought Harrod was angling for it. A past lesbian encounter was mentioned — it emerged earlier in this painfully drawn-out episode that they worked together long ago — but Spiller brushed off Harrod's string of flirtatious remarks.
As they walked out of Spiller's office, Harrod kissed Spiller goodbye. On the lips, for a few seconds. No tongue. And because the kiss was in full view of the DirtNow staff, there was really no passion to it.
That pretty much describes the show itself, which made viewers wait until more than 30 minutes had passed to show this not-hot kiss.
This episode also featured not one but two ghostly visions speaking portentous Latin in the opening minutes. See, whatever happened between Aniston and Cox, you aren't really sorry you missed the finale, are you?
I've actually forced myself to watch "Dirt" in the past few weeks. I wrote a negative review of the show after viewing the first three episodes — I found the show made the juicy world of tabloids into a dreadfully pretentious, mind-numbing bore — but I kept giving it a chance.
Why? What was I thinking?
If anything, "Dirt" got more painful over time.
Each episode was interminable and featured ridiculous dream sequences, courtesy of Spiller's photographer pal, Don Konkey (played by Ian Hart), who's schizophrenic, and far too many scenes of Cox's character having sex with her dolt of a movie-star boyfriend, Holt. No thanks.
But seriously, if anything can be salvaged from this mess, I hope that Hart will get better gigs despite this debacle. He truly did yeoman's work in his role as the anguished shutterbug, and was really the only marginally tolerable thing about "Dirt."
The "stars" in Spiller's version of Hollywood were whiny, pathetic messes, and Spiller herself was cold, ruthless and boring — but not in an interesting way. And the attempts to warm up Spiller by having her demonstrate her love for Konkey were inadequate, at best. "Dirt" not only failed to have some fun with the world of celebrity gossip, but the show was also a frustrating waste of an opportunity to create a compelling female anti-hero. One day, someone will do that, I hope. "Dirt" sure didn't.
But it wasn't just the terrifyingly cold Spiller that was the problem.
There was not a single reason to invest in any of these characters. It takes sensational storytelling to make you care about people with the morals of pond scum.
This was not that show.
I'm racking my brain to think of something nice to say about this show: Oh, I found two nice things! I hated it slightly less than I despised "October Road." And Spiller's wardrobe was fierce.
___
Maureen Ryan:
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agreed
Written by jwood38 on 2007-03-29 07:36:14
I forced myself to watch the first couple episodes as well. After that, I gave up and won't even consider watching it. Well, I guess I would consider it if someone was going to pay me to waste my time... |
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