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More Life Lessons from College |
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Written by Andrew Olson - View Profile
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Thursday, 05 April 2007 |
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1. Maxing out your credit card on kegs is a better investment than maxing it out on textbooks.
2. When you throw a 'theme' party girls will try to be as creative and detailed as possible with their costumes, guys will wear as little as possible. Hence, you must learn not to freak out when you see life-sized Smurfs in your front lawn.
3. Taking people's keys at the door means you're opening your house for up to week. Especially if you're friends end up taking each key and freezing each one individually in ice cubes trays.
4. Your house needs to be stocked at a minimum with a liter of the following: Rum, Brandy, Vodka, Kahula, Whiskey, and one specialty liqeour, like Peach Schnapps; 1 case of Lite Beer; 1 case of Dark or specialty beer, and 2 liters of Coke, Diet, Seven Up and Moutain Dew. Also good idea to throw in a six-pack of Smirnoff or Mike's.
5. If all the bathrooms are being used, someone will go number two in the kitty's box.
6. If you have any hopes of eating within a week of party you throw, you're going to need to clean out your fridge and freezer before hand.
7. If you're going to be a 'nice' guy and offer your bed to fledgling female, make sure she's not pass-out drunk. Not for any snuggling reasons, but because if needs to empty her stomach, she'll do it right there in your bed, and vomit stains are both highly colorful as well as highly potent. Plus, if she's at that point, you can throw out any brownie points you may have hoped to score.
8. Don't allow drunk people to shower or take baths after a long night of drinking. Invariably some body part will cover the drain when they pass out, or they will start it and then not make it back, flooding the apartment, house, basement, etc. Don't believe me? I had 5 experiences between myself and 2 other friends in 3 years. That's a lot of water. No one drowned, they were already full of alcohal.
9. When your HS ex visits you, don't try to impress her by bonging a beer. She'll jsut say you've changed, and go home. Actually, do that, because it opens the night for more drinking.
10. Don't worry about drinking so much that you'll do something funny or say something that defies logic, because your friends will remember for you, and it'll be even funnier. | |
Uh-huh
Written by Drew on 2007-04-13 21:44:12
Undoubtedly true! | 1 more lesson...
Written by jwood38 on 2007-04-11 15:16:45
I think you've forgotten one very important lesson. When the cops come by your house party, be sure you're nice to them because when the inevitably come back, they won't be hard asses. |
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Ravings, rantings, and gibberish. (36)
writen by: Drew
What is up FoCo?
I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
--Drew |
|  | "Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth." | |
|  | We're not that bright, even though in our own little world, we're geniuses. We like 80s hair bands and one-hit wonders, but among us we have respectable tastes, too. Metallica, Iron Maiden, U2. Pursuit of all things trivial is a lifestyle, not just a game. We like some sports, love other sports, and can find something to say about anything. We watch TV and movies and we've read a book or two, even a few classics (Yes, Classic Comics count!)
We call it insight, you call it what you will. | |
|  | Felix Wong is an outdoor enthusiast living in Fort Collins. A mechanical engineer by day, he is especially passionate about bicycling, running, and backpacking. | |
|  | Hola Amigos! I'm Sandra. I like to believe that people are 70 percent good and 30 percent dumb. I'm stickin to that story. Reading this blog might make you want to be good, but probably just dumb. | |
|  | Donovan Henderson is editor of NEXTnc. | |
|  | Here at Nextnc we have some characters. Get a sneak peak behind the curtain and find out what amusing antics our staffers get themselves into on a weekly basis. | |
| | What is up FoCo?
I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
--Drew | |
|  | Life's little morsels of inspiration, observation and encouragement seen through the eyes of the Nextnc reporter.
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|  | Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado where she stars in her own private reality show. She writes aphoristic accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. | |
|  | over and out | |
| | My name is Michelle Turley and I'm 28 years old. I live in Severance with my hubbie, Brandon. We have 2 dogs and a cat. We enjoy camping, four-wheeling, and just being in the mountains. I like to cook, clean (go figure), flea market, and play poker. I have so much to say about poker... | |
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