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She Said | He Said | She Said |
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Written by Emily, Jon and Jennifer
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Thursday, 06 April 2006 |
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Q. My boyfriend’s best friend hit on me the other night. At a party, when we were alone for just a few moments, he kissed me and said he’d always wanted me. I was in too much shock to say anything. Should I tell my boyfriend or keep it to myself? He would be devastated, but if he found out later and I didn’t tell, he would be angry with me.
—Tongue-tied in Fort Collins
EMILY: This is a really bad situation with no right answer. Look at it this way: if you tell your boyfriend then things will never be right when you three hang out. You also run the risk of his friend turning the table and saying you came onto him first, which your boyfriend may believe because it is his “boy.” I would try to work it out with his friend first and tell him that you are not interested. If his friend doesn’t get the hint, you have to tell your boyfriend or else it will likely blow up in your face.
JON: When he kissed you, did you lean back or lean into the kiss? If you let him kiss you, you’re a cheating whore. What’s your phone number? If you tried to lean away, then I’m sorry, guys are dicks. Tell your boyfriend, because he doesn’t need a friend that does that to him or his girlfriend. Or, hook up his “best friend” with one of your friends. I’m sure you have a sleazy friend that can take care of him. Maybe a threesome is in order.
JENNIFER: I would tell him. Honesty is so important and he should respect you for being up-front about what happened. It may wreck his friendship with the guy, but the guy isn’t a worthy friend anyway. If you guys can handle this it will make your relationship stronger, and probably save you from having to hang out with the horn-ball friend as well.
Q. My wife and I have a great sex life. We do it all the time. But is it OK if we watch porn together? I think that getting pleasure by watching someone else can affect our sex life in the future.
—Dreaming of Jenna in Fort Collins
EMILY: There is nothing wrong with exploring some ideas to enhance the physical aspect of your relationship. I know that relationships aren’t just about sex, but let’s face it: without that physical attraction, the relationship will fade away. So I say get some ideas just to keep that spice alive! Also, give props to your wife for being so open to watching porn with you — most women don’t even venture that way.
JON: It all depends on your relationship with each other. When you go out together, to eat or whatever, do either of you get jealous when looking at someone? If the answer is “yes,” then don’t watch it together. If it’s “no,” then go ahead, get some ideas.
JENNIFER: I think that enjoying this “guilty pleasure” together can actually bring you closer to one another. We all try not to be jealous and try to be confident in ourselves, and being able to watch porn as a couple solidifies your confidence and faith in one other, and can give you some ideas that can spice up your own sex life both now and in the future.
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