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Written by Donovan Henderson
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Tuesday, 11 April 2006 |
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For many northern Coloradans, coffee makes their mornings-go-round.
Without it, they’d be kaput, in the dumps, sans energy.
So why not have a coffee shop with a name that ties perfectly with what the product actually does — give a kick in the ass?
The Bad Ass Coffee Co., an import from Hawaii, recently opened a store in the St. Michael’s development in Greeley at the southwest corner of the U.S. 34 Bypass and 65th Avenue intersection. The “ass” is a play on words, of course, using the synonym for donkey — and one is in the company’s logo, while also making a statement about the quality of the product. Donkeys were used to haul the coffee beans off the hillsides near Kona, Hawaii, the birthplace of the company.
Alas, because it is Greeley, someone was offended by “ass” being up in lights. It’s not that they didn’t get the joke, it’s that in their sanitized world, “ass” is not something they’re comfortable with. These are the people who have trouble talking about assessments or harassment. Assinine, I know.
A story about the shop’s opening generated quite a discussion on the Greeley Tribune Web site.
Take a read:
Those opposed
>> I really hate the vulgar name of this coffee shop. I know it’s a play on words, but it doesn’t matter; it is vulgar and inappropriate.
>> I think the name needs to be changed, I do not want my children using words like this. This is a curse word in my book, and I am appalled that this was allowed. I am totally not a conservative type either, I just don’t want to see my 3-year-old repeating curse words...
Those not
>> If you are saddened and sick because of a simple coffee shop, then you haven’t turned on the news lately! Seriously.
>> I think people need to look outside the box from time to time and try to be a little more open minded. I think Bad Ass coffee is awesome! The coffee is excellent and the folks inside are wonderful! Customer service and good coffee are worth more to me then a name that pleases the minority.
This conversation got everyone at NEXTnc to thinking: If the Bad Ass Coffee Co. had to change its name, what other establishments and people and products and places, using this same logic, would have to change as well.
This is our list:
Dick Lamm (Former Colorado governor)
Jim Fallis (Former athletic director at UNC)
Dick’s Sporting Goods
Dick’s Tavern
Vice President Dick Cheney
Johnson’s Corner
President George Bush (Jr. and Sr.)
Uranus
Beaver Creek
The Butterfly Pavilion
Big O Tires (we know what the Big O really is)
Hummers
Poudre River (It’s pretty bad when you go UP the Poo-der)
All Assemblies of God churches (can’t say Assembly without Ass)
Any Association or Associate business (same reason)
Hooters
County Assessors
All Assistants
Wahoo, Neb.
Jimmy Johns
Spicy Pickle
Big R (We don’t know if the R is obscene, but if it’s big, it can’t be good.)
Trailhead Tavern
Longs Peak
Wednesday (Oh, the name of the day is all right; we included it because we can’t call it hump day anymore.)
Hot rods
Wienerschnitzel (Thinking of that, are grocery stores going to have blur out the hot dog section?)
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Nick-n-Willy’s Take n’ Bake pizza
Peter Coors
Pudge Bros. Pizza
Nut ‘n Honey
Baseball, etc.
Shuttlecock
Balzac
Assassins (as if they aren’t already pariahs.)
Assault rifles
Basketball (It’s going to have to change its stats: can’t have ASSists anymore. We’ll call them sharing totals. How lame.)
Ballroom dancing
Buttresses
Butter
Butterscotch
Buttons
Bums (well, they’re back to being called hobos.)
Muffler shops
Pussycats
Pussy willows
Shag carpet
Crack addicts (These people just can’t catch a break.)
We know there are many more additions to this list out there. If you have any, send an e-mail to
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And...
Written by dhenderson on 2006-04-18 16:31:17
Here's a few more:
Grand Tetons
Does this mean no more cocktails? (it’s probably OK, I never liked that name anyway)
But that does mean no Poker, right?
And craps? (How about if we called it “Poops”?)
Head and Shoulders?
Anything cream-filled?
Ice Haus (I’m pretty sure that’s German for Bad Ass)
Family Fun Plex (just doesn’t sound right to me)
Crazy people (at least we can’t call ‘em Nuts)
Screwdrivers?
Mounds candy bars?
Jug N Loaf? | Not to mention
Written by Einstein on 2006-04-12 08:18:57
Don't forget:
Pissant
Shitzu (Shih Tzu)
The Fockers
Al Gore (not vulgar, just forgettable)
hole in one
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit...
MoFo
Just do it
knobs
knockers
Aunt Fanny
Bum Phillips
John Crapper
shooting craps
ring my chimes
get off
get it on
The Big Red One
hung
dung
and George Carlin's famous " s, p, f, c, cs, mf, and t"
Any others?
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I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
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| | My name is Michelle Turley and I'm 28 years old. I live in Severance with my hubbie, Brandon. We have 2 dogs and a cat. We enjoy camping, four-wheeling, and just being in the mountains. I like to cook, clean (go figure), flea market, and play poker. I have so much to say about poker... | |
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