|
What does the dating scene look like now? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Written by Erin Frustaci
|
|
Wednesday, 26 April 2006 |
|
|
|
|
|
Page 1 of 4 Matt Peterson is just 32. But at times, he feels like the clock is running out on his chance for a relationship.
The Fort Collins native, who now lives in Denver, breaks down the complicated dating scene around him into a simple analogy: Finding a woman is like finding a good movie.
He says Internet dating is like reading a book and then seeing the movie, because you get a picture of the person in your head and then see the person, only to realize that isn’t how you would have cast her.
“Speed dating, on the other hand, is like seeing a trailer of a movie and figuring out whether or not you are interested,” Peterson said. 
And just like movies, dating has genres of all kinds.
The face of dating has several expressions in northern Colorado, whether it is worn by a single ready to mingle or a divorcé rejoining the dating scene. People from all facets of life are giving the image of dating a makeover.
So what does it look like now?
Chris Linder, director of Women’s Programs and Studies at Colorado State University, said dating has become individualized and is now something people have more control over.
“It doesn’t look the same for everyone,” she said. “There are so many ways to interact, meet and get to know other people.”
Hundreds of Internet dating sites are updating that older image of boy meets girl typically found in episodes of the “Patty Duke Show.”
From speed dating, to group dating, to meeting through friends, more avenues are out there ready to be explored.
But even so, the world of dating can still be a challenge.
“The older you get, the more wedding rings you start to see.” Peterson said. “When you are in college, everyone around you is your age.”
MAKING A CONNECTION
Peterson has tried a couple of online dating sites as well as attended about six or seven speed dating events.
Speed dating is popping up everywhere. The premise is to have about 16 six-minute conversations with new people through a rotation process. Participants then select which people they are interested in talking to again.
“When else can you meet 13 single women who are interested on a Tuesday night?” he asked.
For the most part, the people Peterson has met through speed dating are down to earth. The trick is to not go in with the expectation of meeting “The One,” Peterson said. He has gone out on several dates with women he’s met speed dating, including a relationship that lasted about four and a half weeks.
Peterson recommends approaching dating from several angles.
Another way he meets people is by getting involved in activities that interest him. For Peterson, one of the benefits of being single is he has had more time to figure out what he is looking for.
SINGLE PARENTS DATE, TOO
Melissa Powers, 31, of Fort Collins said the dating scene looks a little different from her perspective as a single mom.
“The benefit to dating as a single parent is children help you make better decisions,” she said. “Every decision you make affects you and another person.”
Unfortunately for her, there are a lot of men who don’t want to date women with children, she said.
Because she needs to find a baby sitter for her 11-year-old son whenever she goes out on a date, Powers found Internet dating appealing. She has tried two Internet dating sites, date.com and match.com, and has had many interesting experiences over the years.
“There’s a stigma attached to Internet dating that you must be weird or a nerd or something,” Powers said.
Still, she is cautious when meeting someone from the Internet in person. She makes plans for lunch, meets in public, and doesn’t give out her address.
Powers is now in a relationship with a guy she met through someone she knew.
“I dated a friend of his and actually always thought he was a jerk,” she said. “Later I found out it was
because he liked me. He asked his friend for permission to hang out with me and things are going really well, knock on wood.”
MOVIES? SO LAST YEAR
The next question becomes, where do you go on a date?
Though dinner and a movie is still a popular choice for some, Peterson prefers less ordinary dates.
“I kind of go by a formula,” he said. “Usually I throw in some kind of eating because you will get hungry at some point. I try to choose something unusual. One time I took a girl to an Ethiopian restaurant where we ate with our hands.”
After that he usually picks some type of tried-and-true activity. One of his favorite choices is checking out art galleries during First Friday.
“I think movies are not a good first date because you spend two hours just sitting next to that person,” Peterson said. “Art galleries are much more interactive.”
Linder said she does not recommend meeting someone in a bar, but recognizes that it can work for some people.
“When we drink we do things we wouldn’t ordinarily do,” she said.
Her suggestion is to exchange numbers at a bar, and then arrange a coffee date where alcohol will not be involved.
Other alternatives include fitness activities.
“I think a lot of dating happens while doing outdoor activities, hiking and skiing,” Linder said. “I think we are lucky we are able to explore those things as something different.”
Dating isn’t only for singles either. Linder said going on dates can help strengthen a marriage.
“A lot of my friends who have children do every-other date nights and find another couple to take turns baby sitting,” she said. “They will also do things with other couples and bring the kids along.”
|
|
|  | "Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth." | |
|  | We're not that bright, even though in our own little world, we're geniuses. We like 80s hair bands and one-hit wonders, but among us we have respectable tastes, too. Metallica, Iron Maiden, U2. Pursuit of all things trivial is a lifestyle, not just a game. We like some sports, love other sports, and can find something to say about anything. We watch TV and movies and we've read a book or two, even a few classics (Yes, Classic Comics count!)
We call it insight, you call it what you will. | |
|  | Felix Wong is an outdoor enthusiast living in Fort Collins. A mechanical engineer by day, he is especially passionate about bicycling, running, and backpacking. | |
|  | Hola Amigos! I'm Sandra. I like to believe that people are 70 percent good and 30 percent dumb. I'm stickin to that story. Reading this blog might make you want to be good, but probably just dumb. | |
|  | Donovan Henderson is editor of NEXTnc. | |
|  | Here at Nextnc we have some characters. Get a sneak peak behind the curtain and find out what amusing antics our staffers get themselves into on a weekly basis. | |
|  | What is up FoCo?
I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
--Drew | |
|  | Life's little morsels of inspiration, observation and encouragement seen through the eyes of the Nextnc reporter.
| |
|  | Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado where she stars in her own private reality show. She writes aphoristic accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. | |
|  | over and out | |
| | My name is Michelle Turley and I'm 28 years old. I live in Severance with my hubbie, Brandon. We have 2 dogs and a cat. We enjoy camping, four-wheeling, and just being in the mountains. I like to cook, clean (go figure), flea market, and play poker. I have so much to say about poker... | |
|
|
