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Written by Erin Frustaci
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Wednesday, 10 May 2006 |
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Page 1 of 2 Editor’s note: Last names have been omitted to protect the safety of the story’s subjects.
After hearing something at school about her mommy dancing naked, the little 10-year-old came home with questions.
“I told her, ‘No, mommy doesn’t dance naked,’ ” Deborah said. “I asked her who her favorite actress was and at the time, it was Sharon Stone. I said, ‘OK, well, Mommy doesn’t get in bed with different men. Mommy doesn’t do love scenes with different men. Mommy doesn’t take off all her clothes with other men. She does. Mommy just dances, topless.”
The young girl seemed to understand and said, “Oh, is that all? OK.”
Though the 55-year-old Fort Collins mother has since put her top back on, retiring from dancing four years ago, she still waits tables at A Hunt Club, the only strip club in Fort Collins.
But Deborah’s story isn’t the typical stripper sob story.
“Exotic dancer,” she quickly corrects. “Strippers take off everything. They do down-and-dirty things I’d never consider doing.”
She doesn’t smoke, do drugs, or drink and didn’t come from a broken family. In fact, she didn’t even start performing until she was in her 40s.
Deborah married right out of high school, but established two rules for her husband: Never be abusive and never cheat. She had four kids and quickly settled into the role of full-time homemaker.
“I was born to be a mom,” Deborah said. “My kids are my life.”
But a divorce jolted her into the job market with no extensive training after being out of the workforce for 25 years. She tried for a couple receptionist jobs, and then she applied at the club. She knew some of the dancers because she used to sell beaded earrings to them.
“I knew the club and the managers so I didn’t have any problems with it,” she said.
While earning between $60 to $500 a night to support her kids, she maintained her motherly duties, despite societal judgments.
While other parents were looking down at her, she continued to be a field-trip parent and attend parent-teacher association meetings.
“A lot of the guys who came in here, I would see at parent-teacher conferences and they were just hoping to God I wouldn’t come over and say something, which I never did,” Deborah said. “It’s sad because my kids never made me feel ashamed and I wasn’t ashamed about what I did.”
Aaron Bekkela, owner of A Hunt Club, said many of the dancers are single mothers or college students, paying their way through school.
Deborah grew up in Indiana and was hesitant to tell her parents about her new job. She finally sat them down after a couple of years and told them what she was doing to make a living.
“My mom and dad looked at me and said, ‘We don’t really approve, but we love you. We know you are doing what you have to do and are proud of you,’ ” she said.
Deborah, who describes her whole family as tight-knit, said she has an extremely close relationship with her kids who are now, 36, 32, 27 and 22.
The youngest just moved away from home last week, but promised to come over and crawl into her mother’s bed, where they talk and fall asleep, like they have done so often.
Her baby girl, though not a baby anymore, now dances at the club where Deborah has worked for the last 15 years.
She approached her mother the same way as when she was 10, and this time she said it would help financially. Deborah explained all of the negative things she would have to deal with.
“She was already 21,” Deborah said. “If she would have asked me when she was 18, I would have said no because I just don’t believe any 18-year-old should be in this environment. They’re not old enough to drink, why should they be in here?”
Deborah said knowing she would be there with her daughter and knowing the management helped put her mind at ease.
“It’s not something you want to see your kids do, but you also realize this is a good source of income and if they’re level-headed enough, I really didn’t have a problem with it,” Deborah said.
Billie Jean, Deborah’s daughter-in-law, said Deborah is a very devoted mother and describes her family as a typical American family. She also works at the club, as a bartender.
Going against stereotypes is never easy, but Deborah said her secret is to always put her kids first, no matter what.
“I’m old enough to know there is more to life than judging somebody for what they do,” she said.
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