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She said | He said 05.10.06 |
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Written by Jennifer & Jon
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Wednesday, 10 May 2006 |
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Q. My boyfriend sits in front of the computer so much that I’m afraid he’s going to become a Borg pretty soon, with wires growing right out of his brain. I want to get out of the house, but he’s always playing video games. How do I find a happy medium without leaving him in the dust on my way out the door?
—Cyber’s Lover in Loveland
JENNIFER: Have you tried discussing this with him? Maybe he’s open to agreeing on a happy medium. I would think that he would be excited enough about spending a day with you that he would sacrifice some of his video-game time. If he’s not, then I think your problems go beyond the wires growing out of his brain! You should be a priority over any computer-related pastime. If you’re not, then you have every right to leave him in the dust on your way out the door.
JON: Plan stuff to do outdoors or do stuff other than playing video games. If you like to do stuff outdoors and he doesn’t, then it probably won’t work out. You might want to look at his perspective, too. He likes to play video games. So what? I mean, what third grader doesn’t?
I have another idea: My brother almost beat me up for doing this high school. Turn the power off of in the house when he’s playing. That will definitely make him want to go outside.
Q. My dad’s side of the family gets together every year for a reunion. And since I turned 30, I’ve dreaded it because all I get is the “When are you going to get married” question. I’ve considered making up a T-shirt that simply says “Don’t ask.” They do it out of love, but they make me feel like a loser. Should I just not go to the reunions?
—Frazzled by family in Fort Collins
JENNIFER: Don’t let them discourage you. Next time they make a comment, remind them that many singles remain that way for longer periods of time by choice, not bad luck. More and more Gen Xers these days prefer to complete college and establish themselves in their career of choice before settling down and starting a family. Going into marriage and family life with a solid foundation of who you are and what you’re doing can only increase your chances for success at home. I challenge them to tease you after that!
JON: The T-shirt is an awesome idea. Always look for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now. Or you can hire someone to play your boyfriend. I saw it on TV one time; it worked out for her. But the questions will never stop. When you do get married, they’ll always ask, when are you going to have a baby? Get used to it. Or just say you’re working on your career and you want to provide everything for your kids when you have them.
Give them a Jingle
The only training our NEXTnc relationship advisors have is house training; they’re not certified counselors. They just have time on their hands. If you have a question, e-mail:
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