|
|
|
Written by Knight Ridder
|
|
Wednesday, 17 May 2006 |
|
|
|
|
Poseidon
Two starts (out of four)
Kurt Russell, Josh Lucas
PG-13
The overturned-ocean-liner remake, “Poseidon” is long on “wows” but short on “aws.”
We want two things from disaster movies: big-event special effects and characters vivid enough to make us care whether they live or drown.
“Poseidon” delivers on the former. The shots inside a ship hit by what’s snicker-inducingly referred to as a “rogue wave” are spectacular. And director Wolfgang Petersen makes us feel the effects of the disaster in suspenseful scenes where survivors crawl away from onrushing waters through tight air ducts (for his next act, Petersen, who made the most claustrophobic movie of all time, “Das Boot,” should make a movie entirely set in a paper bag).
But the movie doesn’t have characters; it has adjectives.
Watching them and wondering whether they’ll live is about as emotionally involving as watching popcorn kernels and wondering whether they’ll pop. Overprotective Kurt Russell and Daring Josh Lucas lead a cross-section of survivors, including Overprotective’s daughter, Rebellious (Emmy Rossum), as well as Maternal (Jacinda Barrett) and Despairing (Richard Dreyfuss) toward safety after the cruise ship they’re all not having a very good time on flips over on New Year’s Eve in the middle of the ocean.
Each of those people corresponds to one of the characters in the original “Poseidon Adventure.” But this stripped-down “Poseidon,” 20 minutes shorter than the original, is unwilling to pause for the sort of human moments that make characters endearing.
The people are so one-note they’re like the seven dwarves you never wanted to meet: Overprotective, Despairing, Rebellious, Maternal, Daring and their friends with fewer lines, Frantic and Winsome.
The only one missing is the person responsible for this underdeveloped script. That would be Dopey. | Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register. |
|
|  | "Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth." | |
|  | We're not that bright, even though in our own little world, we're geniuses. We like 80s hair bands and one-hit wonders, but among us we have respectable tastes, too. Metallica, Iron Maiden, U2. Pursuit of all things trivial is a lifestyle, not just a game. We like some sports, love other sports, and can find something to say about anything. We watch TV and movies and we've read a book or two, even a few classics (Yes, Classic Comics count!)
We call it insight, you call it what you will. | |
|  | Felix Wong is an outdoor enthusiast living in Fort Collins. A mechanical engineer by day, he is especially passionate about bicycling, running, and backpacking. | |
|  | Hola Amigos! I'm Sandra. I like to believe that people are 70 percent good and 30 percent dumb. I'm stickin to that story. Reading this blog might make you want to be good, but probably just dumb. | |
|  | Donovan Henderson is editor of NEXTnc. | |
|  | Here at Nextnc we have some characters. Get a sneak peak behind the curtain and find out what amusing antics our staffers get themselves into on a weekly basis. | |
|  | What is up FoCo?
I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
--Drew | |
|  | Life's little morsels of inspiration, observation and encouragement seen through the eyes of the Nextnc reporter.
| |
|  | Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado where she stars in her own private reality show. She writes aphoristic accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. | |
|  | over and out | |
| | My name is Michelle Turley and I'm 28 years old. I live in Severance with my hubbie, Brandon. We have 2 dogs and a cat. We enjoy camping, four-wheeling, and just being in the mountains. I like to cook, clean (go figure), flea market, and play poker. I have so much to say about poker... | |
|
|
