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She said | He said 05.17.06 |
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Written by Donovan Henderson
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Tuesday, 16 May 2006 |
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Q. I’ve been in a two-year relationship, but I’m still not sure if she’s the one. And, yes, I’ve heard this line: “If you don’t know by now, then she probably isn’t the one.” I don’t think that’s true. We love each other and have a lot of things in common, but we both seem hesitant. So, should I stay or should I go?
—Not Ready to Leap in Greeley
JENNIFER: I think it’s OK to be hesitant. As long as you’re both on the same page and agree on not rushing into the next steps, I don’t see any reason not to be careful and wait until you’re sure. If she is the one, you guys have the rest of your lives to hurry up and spend it together, so take it slow and enjoy what you have.
Sometimes stressing about a future that you’re not even sure you have together can overshadow how great things are now. I say you should stay, and hopefully she does too!
JON: I say dump her. In two years you should know if she’s the one or not. It’s an easy excuse by saying, “I don’t know if she’s the one.”
What you’re really saying is, I’m scared. It’s OK to be scared, I mean who wouldn’t be. It’s a big commitment. Just ask yourself are you better off without her or can you go through life with out her? If you said No, then marry her, if yes, then run.
Q. I’m recently divorced and have thought about getting back into the “dating game,” but my experiences have left me discouraged. I’m in my early 30s, and the single women my age are either like me, divorced, or never been married for a reason — they’re bitter. I admit I’ve got baggage, but many of these women need a U-Haul to carry around theirs. Should I just become a monk?
—Luggage Handler in Loveland
JENNIFER: While I’m sure that becoming a monk has been a successful lifestyle choice for many men, I’m not sure that it’s the answer for you! Try to remember that we all have baggage and most of it can be dealt with.
You need to decide what baggage is acceptable for you, and by that I mean what things you can foresee yourself helping a woman overcome.
Also, recognize your own issues and try to find a woman that can return that favor and help you as well. I think you’ll find that your past experiences, if blended right, can strengthen your future.
JON: No, get back into it when the time is right. Don’t just look for a woman to fill the whole. Wait until you can live with out someone, then find the right person.
You don’t want to get divorced again do you? As you know, marriage is tough, don’t jump back into it because you don’t want to be single. | Only registered users can write comments.
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