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Surviving the Wedding Season |
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Written by Erin Frustaci
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Wednesday, 24 May 2006 |
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Page 3 of 4
Pre-wedding stress relievers: Women get fitted, men get outfitted...with shotguns
THE TROOPS
Mandy Sullivan and Jon Peggram are at the center of a wedding the happens Saturday, with their families and 400 guests in attendance. We meet the troops that have helped organize the event, and give you a taste of what it takes to be a wedding survivor.
No. 1: Mandy Sullivan, bride
aka First Captain in Command
Mandy Sullivan is already a survivor in her own right. Her wedding day will not only be a celebration of her and Jon’s love, but also of her life.
Two winters ago, she came near death during a snowboarding accident that ripped her spleen in two.
“I was rushed to the hospital and went into surgery right away,” Mandy said.
Jon was with her at the time of the accident and stayed at the hospital with her.
“That’s when I knew he loved me,” Mandy said. “He wouldn’t leave. He cried and told me he loved me. He would read to me and watch me while I slept. You know someone loves you if they will change the bag that has your urine in it. He kept telling me I was beautiful, even though I wasn’t very beautiful.”
A year after Mandy’s accident, the couple got engaged. Mandy said she knew she was going to marry Jon from the first time they talked.
Because Mandy has such a strong relationship with her mother, it was easier for her if her mother planned the wedding while Mandy focused on finishing school.
Her survival tip to brides is to be sweet.
“I just can’t imagine how yelling at someone would make them want to help you,” Mandy said. “Vendors are expecting brides to be freaked out about everything and if you are nice, they go above and beyond.”
No. 2: Jon Peggram, groom
aka Second Captain in Command
Being on the frontline, Jon Peggram, 22, is looking forward to his big day. The hardest part for him has been not getting to see Mandy much during the last month.
Though he says the wedding preparation hasn’t been very stressful for him, he too has taken on several assignments.
Because he wanted to do things the traditional way, his first operation was to get permission to marry Mandy from her father.
While the men were busy moving Jon into his new house, he finally muscled up the courage.
“It was really hard to make myself actually ask him,” he said. “I knew I was going to do it, but it was hard.”
Mission one completed.
Next, he needed to pop the question to Mandy. He planned to do it over dinner the following weekend, but was too excited since he already had the ring.
He convinced her to go for a walk at Glenmere Park in Greeley on a frigid evening in January, where he got down on one knee. And of course, his bride-to-be said yes.
Mission two completed.
Since then, Jon has been involved in everything from helping address invitations to making Mandy’s bouquet.
The invitations, which became quite a nightmare, were printed wrong several times, accidentally sent to Canada and had the incorrect address for the church.
As Mandy’s mother Jan was frantically trying to address all of the invitations, Jon came over to cook her dinner and help address them.
His top tip for future grooms: Don’t be afraid to go to a wedding show because you can get a lot of ideas,” he said. “You don’t have to stay all day, but at least walk through it. It wasn’t that bad. After we all walked through it once, her dad and I watched football and drank beer in the hotel lounge.”
No. 3: Danielle Sullivan, maid of honor
aka Bride’s Navigator
 Danielle Sullivan’s mission is to assist her sister whenever needed. Her long list of duties included hosting the bridal shower, picking the bridesmaids dresses, helping with decorations and planning her toast.
“I’m kind of stressed about the toast,” she said. “I’ve been trying to think of things to say.”
Danielle, 18, said it has been difficult balancing work and wedding stuff, but has tried to support her sister and mom emotionally.
“My job has been to keep them calm and happy,” she said.
She would tell other bridesmaids to share their honest opinions but also let the bride have her day.
Danielle and Mandy talked about being in each other’s weddings when they were little girls. But being the maid of honor isn’t always easy.
“Every time I see someone who is invited to the wedding, I’m asked when am I getting married,” Danielle said. “I always tell people, ‘not for awhile because I have seen what my sister has gone through and how stressful it’s been.’ I just push it aside and don’t worry about it too much.”
No. 4: Luke Epple, best man
aka Groom’s Navigator
 Luke Epple, 22, enlisted as Jon’s best man to help guide his cousin through the process.
“We’ve been best friends forever,” he said. “We’ve done everything together. A lot of my hospital visits have been with him. There’s been a lot of broken bones.”
In fact, Luke is a survivor, thanks to Jon.
About five years ago, the guys were on a camping trip when Luke fell 20 feet off a cliff. He plummeted to the water below, breaking ribs and rupturing his spleen, among other things. Jon charged down the mountain to save him.
Luke, who is now married, said he is excited for Jon.
Though Luke hasn’t done much of the planning, he was in charge of the bachelor’s party: gathering the guys to rendezvous in Wiggins to shoot shotguns. 
“It’s something me and my friends like to do,” Jon said.
Luke said he wanted the party to be something all of the groomsmen could have fun doing. Jon has a troop of three little brothers and Luke wanted them to be involved.
Luke’s final mission is the toast.
“I want to have everything mapped out, that way I won’t look like a jackass,” he said.
No. 5: Jan Sullivan, mother of the bride
aka General of Planning
 Even starting her own business wasn’t as tough for Jan Sullivan as planning this wedding.
“I’m crying like every day,” she said.
When Mandy got engaged, she told her mom she wanted her in charge of everything.
Surprisingly, it’s worked quite well and mother and daughter have agreed about 90 percent of the time.
“If we don’t, it’s her wedding. She’s the bride.” Jan said.
Jan has been working around the clock and has managed to overcome a couple obstacles such as invitation issues and caterer catastrophes.
When things get rough, she takes a deep breath and counts her blessings.
“All this is happening because my daughter has found true love and we have something to celebrate,” she said.
Jan’s biggest key to survival has been hiring a professional wedding planner. Although Jan has done most of the work herself, she will be able to relax and enjoy the wedding, knowing someone else will be responsible for the little details.
No. 6: John Sullivan, father of the bride
aka Paymaster Finance Officer
 Thus far, John Sullivan has survived footing the bill, all the while being the safety net for his wife and daughter. But the hardest part is yet to come for John.
“Walking her down the isle and going through some of the toasts will be tough,” he said. “Mandy still lives at home. I think it will really hit me more when she is gone.”
But John has been preparing himself for a long time for the day when his oldest daughter would leave her parent’s barracks.
“Because we approve of Jon so much, it makes it easier,” he said.
John’s biggest duty has been to keep the boat afloat.
“If I have any important part at all, it’s that I found I need to be solid,” John said. “The girls can be emotional at times. I’ve been well practiced over the years to smooth out those areas and see if there is anything I can do to help.”
As the father of the bride, John’s biggest survival tip is to get the ugliest part out of the way early. He recommends tackling the budget head on and not shying away from it.
“It’s the most uncomfortable part of it all and hopefully it is downhill from there,” he said.
Wedding planner Lorie Cooper said the father of the bride usually feels completely helpless and that everything is out of control, especially his wife and daughter.
“The groom’s father is probably the least emotionally affected and has a tendency to get left out,” she said.
Though the bride’s parents have traditionally paid for the wedding, with today’s extravagant weddings, Cooper recommends splitting the bill in thirds.
“Money is the No. 1 cause of stress,” she said.
While John was putting gas in his car last week, he found $50 on the ground. Though the UPS employee has had to write some hefty checks lately, he turned around and gave the money to someone who needed it more.
“I relate it to the wedding,” he said. “Life is tough. Easy come, easy go. The easier it is to get married, the easier it would be to let go.”
But all of the hard work they have put into the wedding will hopefully give the young couple that many more reminders of love.
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