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E-mail spam lines: clever, cheesy, uh... weird |
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Imagine this dialogue during the Oscar-winning movie:
 “What’s your name? Tell me your name.”
“My name is gonorrhea gladiator.”
You think Russell Crowe still would have won the Best Actor Oscar had his Gladiator had gonorrhea?
We’ll never know.
What we do know is that gonorrhea gladiator is one of our favorite spam phrases. Whether it be in the subject line of your e-mail spam, or in the contents (if you even bother opening spam), spammers are kooky, fond of clichés and most likely not English speakers.
You’ll get all that while perusing our first-ever Goofy Spam Subject Lines list. Most are about sex, some are about medical products and financial opportunities, others actually prompted us to open up and take a look (a spam success!), and they all caused us to scratch our head and ask, WTF?
Parenthetical phrases added by NEXT:
- Ejaculate like a porn star
- Improve sperm integrity. (We didn’t know sperm could be dishonest.)
- Soy sauce calculating (a stock tip)
- Hey buddy, whats up
- Fuller & Harder Erections
- Hair System Savings
- increase in sexual desire
- ambassadorial
- Dominique chromatogram
- shames of sex? we can change it
- How to cast effect spells easily
- Want to live forever?
- fourthly proselytize
- possess
- Are you smart between the sheets?
- You could make $24,000 in 24 hours
- seance to contact john lennon
- Try colon cleansing at home (where else would you try it? during your morning commute?)
- Plain or Peanut M&M’s?Vote for your favorite
- Whiter teeth in just 5 days
- Hey man, you ever try pheromones?
- Unstable rapturous
- SIZE!!!!!
- arterial gruel
- increase in sexual desire
- ugliness accommodate
- unadulterated brewery
- lower your fuel costs with gas price alert
- Stronger climaxes and orgasms
- Rejuvenation for you!
- *SHEDDIGN LIGHT ON HAIR TRANSPLANTS
For whatever reason, we opened this e-mail, and this is what we found:
aspiration bloodstained travel agency supporter gild as disrespectful as prudence amazing overhead projector the as phlegmatic wastebasket, scram mate sadly in tons to of incriminating butterfly of as cordiality! mallard, archaeological passively panties and that gonorrhea, gladiator, the uncanny grand piano!!! shapely. in? driveway as fait accompli, night owl Popsicle mother tongue in department store foul soon arraign.
- Quicker Recharges (viagra, of course)
- minimize inflationary
- starch
- I’m in love
- Yo yo! check this out dude
- objectivity contingent
- infuse
- shameless
- my name is John
- Rejuvenation formula
- Antifroud Reports s0
- Parxuamcy news
- on p2pnet.net
- Hiieeeee.... :o) ..SURPRISED ??????
- I hope you are doing fine wherever you are.
- Who am i ?? well...10 cents for guessing.
- so, look at our old pictures which I have put at My Personal Album
- I hope you recognize me. .......IF NOT, JUST ASK ME.....!!
- You know..I miss those days :o(
- Keep emailing me on how you are, and what’s going on your life.....
- I took on a job at this call center and it sucks...:o(
- Byeee.... Miss you...!!
- rhythmically ft.
Found a good spam line? Send it to us:
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|  | "Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth." | |
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I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
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|  | Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado where she stars in her own private reality show. She writes aphoristic accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. | |
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| | My name is Michelle Turley and I'm 28 years old. I live in Severance with my hubbie, Brandon. We have 2 dogs and a cat. We enjoy camping, four-wheeling, and just being in the mountains. I like to cook, clean (go figure), flea market, and play poker. I have so much to say about poker... | |
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