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Written by Jon & Jennifer
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Wednesday, 31 May 2006 |
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Q. I recently read in your publication the story about speed dating. The prospect of talking to all those people in such a short amount of time makes me hyperventilate. And that’s probably why I’m still single: I make bad first impressions. Women say they hate pick-up lines, but a simple hello doesn’t seem to be working for me. What can I do?
—Tongue-tied in Timnath
JENNIFER:
Hyperventilation isn’t exactly a turn-on, so try to avoid that. I’m sure that you’re capable of making a great first impression. My advice is to try speed dating, despite the fact that it terrifies you. Don’t expect to find your soulmate in the first round, because odds are you’re going to be a nervous wreck.
Like anything, as you go more you will relax and eventually feel comfortable with the situation. With that comfort level, you will be more approachable and easier to talk to, thus making you, yes you, capable of making a great first impression!
JON:
When I went on my first date with my wife, she said I studdered a lot. It’s OK to be nervous. You want some thing more than a hello? How about a hello, my name is.
Ask questions about them.
Women usually like to talk about themselves, not in an overconfident way — but they like it when someone is interested in them.
It will show them that you care about them. Women want to feel like you actually care about them.
Q. My boyfriend is a terrible, and I mean awful, kisser. He shoves his tongue in my mouth and swirls it around like a washing machine. I’ve tried to give him subtle clues about proper lip-lock etiquette, but he’s clueless. If I come right out and tell him, I know that will hurt his feelings. How can I get him to change his technique without biting his tongue, and mine?
—Suffering in Saliva in Greeley
JENNIFER:
I’ve been in a similar situation and here’s what I did to tone down the tongue. I turned the situation around and made it sound like I was insecure about my kissing style because I had never experienced so much tongue.
While it was still an awkward conversation, it kept him off the defensive and allowed us to compare kissing styles and establish a happy medium. Odds are your guy just wants to please you, so he should be open to suggestions. Try to make it about you, so you don’t bruise his ego in the process.
JON:
Tough one. Teach him or tell him now, because it will a lot harder to teach him later. He won’t get too mad if you teach him while you’re kissing. If you sit him down at the table and have diagrams about the ‘proper way’, he’ll be very upset.
I wasn’t a good kisser either, until I learned a trick.
It’s a secret, though. Sorry.
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