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Is It Me, Or Is It Hot In Here? |
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Written by Robbie Lynn Giles - View Profile
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Monday, 16 October 2006 |
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See that picture over there? The one on my profile? That's not really me. It's just a visual bite of me, an innocent-looking caricature, if you will. That photo has attracted 6,630 viewers on a certain dating website, and has culminated in only three, count them, three, face-to-face encounters. In summary, encounter number one resulted in a decent night of fun, but no follow-up. Encounter number two turned into a nice little friendship. And, we can thank number three for forcing me to enter the witness protection program.
After four months and hundreds of hits from old guys sporting '70s-style, porn star mustaches, yesterday, my e-mail alert went from bow-chicka-bow to ding ding ding, we have a winner! Or so I thought. I smiled when I read an e-mail from Amassabor24, a hot, young, snowboarder who enjoyed playing chess and, as far as I could tell, was gainfully employed. Did I mention that he was young? Did I mention how young? Let's just say, he and my son have a lot in common, including the decade of their birth. Allow me to share with you, my reply.
**Dear Ambassador 24: I want to thank you for providing inspiration for the next revision to my profile in which I plan to challenge the Prince of Darkness (Satan, not Ozzie) for condemning me to the depths of Hell, otherwise known as Match.com. You see, Ambassador, eternal suffering in itself is not Hell. Hell is defined as having your desires deceptively close, but eternally beyond your grasp. For example, in your case, Hell could be meeting a beautiful, chess player with a nice rack and a sex addiction. She's the perfect woman, until you discover she has converted her spare room into a shrine devoted to you, complete with hair dolls and some impressive artwork fashioned out of your toenail clippings and belly button lint. For me, Hell could be meeting a rich, good-looking man my own age, with no mustache, who happens to live in Estonia. With his mom. Or, more realistically, my Hell is receiving an email from someone as cute as you, knowing that nature is playing another hilarious age joke on me. I've spent way too much of my limited time on this reply, but the point I'm trying to make is, you're like a yummy ice cream sundae, but I'm lactose intolerant, and that pisses me off. **
He didn't write back. I'm still single. Was it something I said? | |
hahahaha!
Written by Pikachu on 2006-10-17 15:35:29
That is awesome. I'm glad you kept your sense of humour about it. |
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All Growed Up (24)
writen by: Is Everybody In?
Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado where she stars in her own private reality show. She writes aphoristic accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. |
|  | "Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth." | |
|  | We're not that bright, even though in our own little world, we're geniuses. We like 80s hair bands and one-hit wonders, but among us we have respectable tastes, too. Metallica, Iron Maiden, U2. Pursuit of all things trivial is a lifestyle, not just a game. We like some sports, love other sports, and can find something to say about anything. We watch TV and movies and we've read a book or two, even a few classics (Yes, Classic Comics count!)
We call it insight, you call it what you will. | |
|  | Felix Wong is an outdoor enthusiast living in Fort Collins. A mechanical engineer by day, he is especially passionate about bicycling, running, and backpacking. | |
|  | Hola Amigos! I'm Sandra. I like to believe that people are 70 percent good and 30 percent dumb. I'm stickin to that story. Reading this blog might make you want to be good, but probably just dumb. | |
|  | Donovan Henderson is editor of NEXTnc. | |
|  | Here at Nextnc we have some characters. Get a sneak peak behind the curtain and find out what amusing antics our staffers get themselves into on a weekly basis. | |
|  | What is up FoCo?
I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
--Drew | |
|  | Life's little morsels of inspiration, observation and encouragement seen through the eyes of the Nextnc reporter.
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| | Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado where she stars in her own private reality show. She writes aphoristic accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. | |
|  | over and out | |
| | My name is Michelle Turley and I'm 28 years old. I live in Severance with my hubbie, Brandon. We have 2 dogs and a cat. We enjoy camping, four-wheeling, and just being in the mountains. I like to cook, clean (go figure), flea market, and play poker. I have so much to say about poker... | |
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