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Written by asap
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Saturday, 21 October 2006 |
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 "Your Cheatin' Heart" by Hank Williams
Key lyric: "Your cheatin' heart ... will make you weep. You'll cry and cry and try to sleep. But sleep won't come...the whole night through. Your cheatin' heart will tell on you."
The story: Still the gold standard for cheating songs. Williams takes makes it powerful with his plaintive voice and emotional singing. The message is simple: You'll never be able to forget doing me wrong.
Done Me Wrong-o-Meter: 6.
She's been running around on him, and the emotion in the song shows just how much it hurts.
Vengeance Scale: 8.
The emotional pain of her realizing what she's done will drive her crazy.
___
"Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town" by Kenny Rogers
Key lyric: "She's leaving now 'cause I just heard the slamming of the door. The way I know I've heard it slam some hundred times before. And if I could move I'd get my gun and put her in the ground. Oh Ruby, don't take your love to town."
The story: There's no question who the bad guy -— or gal, in this case, is. Rogers weaves a tale of a disabled war veteran who knows he's not the same man he used to be, but still loves Ruby with all of his heart. How does she repay him? By stepping out on him and not even trying to hide it.
Done Me Wrong-o-Meter: On a scale of 1-10? About 812.
Not only is she cheating on him and not being the slightest bit shy about it, she's cheating on a disabled war veteran. Ruby might be the most morally reprehensible character ever in a country song -- and that's saying something.
Vengeance Scale: 3. He's bitter and he'd like to do something about it, but he's incapable of taking the course of action he'd most like to take.
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"The Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks
Key lyric: "She's waitin' by the window when he pulls into the drive. She rushes out to hold him, thankful he's alive. But on the wind and rain, a strange new perfume blows. And the lightnin' flashes in her eyes. And he knows that she knows."
The story: It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, she realized he'd been cheating on her. While she's been up all night praying that he's OK, he's paying a visit to another woman. When he gets home, she catches a whiff of perfume on him that isn't hers and the jig is up. The standard version of the song ends with no real resolution, but in the little-known third verse, the song ends with her pulling a pistol out of her dresser drawer.
Done Me Wrong-o-Meter: 8.
Bonus points for making his wife worry that he's in a ditch somewhere because of the weather.
Vengeance Scale: 4.
The third verse bumps it up to an 8, because she's fixin' to give him an extra orifice.
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"Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray" by Patsy Cline
Key lyric: "Two cigarettes in an ashtray, my love and I in a small cafe. Then a stranger came along, And everything went wrong. Now there's three cigarettes in the ashtray.
The story: Boy meets girl, boy meets another girl, boy dumps first girl for second girl, leaving her with nothing to do but stare at the ashtray, realizing that she's the only one left.
Done Me Wrong-o-Meter: 7.
It's a slow, painful process. She can do nothing but watch hopelessly as another woman steals him away.
Vengeance Scale: 0.
She's simply lamenting the loss of the one that she thought loved her.
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"If You're Going to Do Me Wrong (Do it Right)" by George Jones
Key lyric: "If you're gonna break my heart all to pieces, just walk right out and leave me — let's end it all tonight. Take off your wedding band when he takes you by the hand. If you're gonna do me wrong, do it right."
The story: A classic by Vern Gosdin gets the Possum treatment. She's cheating on him, he knows it and he's basically given up on doing anything about it.
Done Me Wrong-o-Meter: 9.
She's not even trying to hide it, but at least she didn't take all his money, too.
Vengeance Scale: 5.
She's cheating on him, but he's making sure that she knows that he knows and that he's telling her that she could at least have the decency to end it if she doesn't want to be with him.
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asap contributor Casey Laughman is from Ohio.
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