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Written by NEXTnc staff
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Wednesday, 28 June 2006 |
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Park this.
Sometimes architects and engineers outthink themselves. Case in point: The parking lot at the Wal-Mart Supercenter on Mulberry in Fort Collins. Drive in it and you feel like a mouse in one of the those mazes, looking for the cheese (i.e., exit or lane to the next row) while the scientists are looking at you from above, laughing like geeks at a “Lord of the Rings” convention. Turn the wrong way, and you’re stuck in a dead-end and have to turn around just to get out. It’s certainly not customer friendly. But I’m sure it looked peachy on the blueprint. WTF?
Turning signals and brakes.
These are the answers, but do you know the question? It is this: What are two things drivers in northern Colorado have difficulty using? Holy crap, what we wouldn’t give for all cops in the tri-city area to spend a month giving tickets to all the jokers who drive around without sufficient blinker fluid in their cars. And brakes. We’re confident you’ve experienced the tailpipe pucker, too. That’s when you look in your rearview mirror and the car behind is so close to your bumper, you have to adjust the mirror down just to see them. The irony, of course, is that after they whip around you and speed off, you usually catch up with them at the next light.
OK, OK.
Someone sees a film shoot going on and assumes it’s real. Understandable. They call the cops because they mistake the fake hostage situation for the real thing. Then the SWAT team shows, guns at the ready. This all can be rationalized. But the actors remained cuffed for at least a half-hour, even though it was obvious that it wasn’t the real thing. And, to add insult to injury, the lead actor and the director were each issued a summons for disorderly conduct. Please. If this SWAT crew in Larimer County wants to make the world safer, they should draw down on some tailgaters.
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|  | "Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth." | |
|  | We're not that bright, even though in our own little world, we're geniuses. We like 80s hair bands and one-hit wonders, but among us we have respectable tastes, too. Metallica, Iron Maiden, U2. Pursuit of all things trivial is a lifestyle, not just a game. We like some sports, love other sports, and can find something to say about anything. We watch TV and movies and we've read a book or two, even a few classics (Yes, Classic Comics count!)
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|  | Felix Wong is an outdoor enthusiast living in Fort Collins. A mechanical engineer by day, he is especially passionate about bicycling, running, and backpacking. | |
|  | Hola Amigos! I'm Sandra. I like to believe that people are 70 percent good and 30 percent dumb. I'm stickin to that story. Reading this blog might make you want to be good, but probably just dumb. | |
|  | Donovan Henderson is editor of NEXTnc. | |
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|  | What is up FoCo?
I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
--Drew | |
|  | Life's little morsels of inspiration, observation and encouragement seen through the eyes of the Nextnc reporter.
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|  | Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado where she stars in her own private reality show. She writes aphoristic accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. | |
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| | My name is Michelle Turley and I'm 28 years old. I live in Severance with my hubbie, Brandon. We have 2 dogs and a cat. We enjoy camping, four-wheeling, and just being in the mountains. I like to cook, clean (go figure), flea market, and play poker. I have so much to say about poker... | |
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