|
Boarding the ’Pirates’ ship |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Written by asap
|
|
Thursday, 06 July 2006 |
|
|
|
|
Click here to see the trailer!
Click here to see a video of the Disney theme park attraction!
 LOS ANGELES — Yo, ho! Yo, ho! It’s a pirates ride that turned into a movie — and back into a ride.
The movie, featuring Johnny Depp’s swishy swashbuckling turn as pirate Capt. Jack Sparrow, was inspired by the Disney attraction, Pirates of the Caribbean. Now, the rum-swilling pirate and crew have influenced the ride, which has been updated to include characters from the new movie “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.”
The new movie and the updated aqua-adventure appear to have captivated audiences, with record numbers turning out and standing in line to get on the ride — and hundreds pre-purchasing movie tickets for the July 7 opening.
Asap reviews the “Pirates” franchise that seems to captivate so many — is it the plot (finding treasure?), the humor (funny one-liners and sight gags?) or perhaps the characters themselves (the octopus-faced Davy Jones?)
THRILLS
MOVIE: Let’s start with Sparrow’s Road Runner-like escape from cannibalistic natives, in which he falls down a ravine through approximately 74 rope bridges before somehow landing softly on his back. It’s a human cartoon — pratfalls at their most extreme. The action gets louder and more chaotic from there, to the point where you’re simply worn out by the time the final three-way swordfight (the third? fourth?) gets under way.
RIDE: It begins with a climb into a boat, which gently floats into the darkness and then suddenly shoots down a pitch-black rapid into the “Pirates” world. The ride drifts through a grotto, and then picks up the pace again, heading into the middle of a battle between Sparrow’s nemesis Capt. Barbossa and the soldiers at a fort. It slows again, meandering through a French Quarter-style village.
DIALOGUE/HUMOR
MOVIE: The over-the-top staginess of the dialogue usually works, particularly when Depp tosses away his precious lines. “Complications arose, ensued, were overcome,” he mumbles early on, and it’s a fair enough assessment of the entire plot. Witty repartee among the low-rung pirates grates: Were they really taking a moment to debate whether the monster’s name was pronounced with a “long A” as in the “original Scandinavian”?
RIDE: Little fresh dialogue — most of it was mapped out decades earlier by Walt Disney and Co. The updated dialogue, which features the voices of actors Geoffrey Rush as Barbarossa, Bill Nighy as Davy Jones and a hysterical musical number featuring Depp’s Sparrow. The sight gags haven’t changed -- the jailed men are still trying to get a dog to give up a key, a drunk still sleeps with the pigs, a man is still trying to sell wenches. Only now, Sparrow is in the mix -- taking it all in from subtle positions throughout the ride.
CHARACTERS
MOVIE: The baddies, led by Bill Nighy (and encapsulated in what looks like the worst flavor of Jell-O ever made), really steal the show. They’re recognizably human and likewise recognizably sea creatures, and they don’t really have to do much more than snarl and swing their weapons occasionally. Depp’s pirate schtick gets old at about 90 minutes in, the point when a normal pirate flick would and should end. However, you haven’t quite been to the movies this summer until you’ve seen Keira Knightley, even dressed like a guy, smoldering under the hot Bahamian sun.
RIDE: No Keira Knightley. No Orlando Bloom. No gross sea creatures. But there are three chances to glimpse Capt. Jack Sparrow, who looks an awful lot like Johnny Depp, and one creepy, albeit cool, apparition of Davy Jones who warns, of course, “Dead men tell no tales.”
MUSIC
MOVIE: Hans Zimmer’s orchestration is incessant. The characters can hardly arch an eyebrow or do a double-take — and they do plenty of both — without some sudden flourish of violins to underscore it. Sure, it’s a pirate movie, but we’ll take a little “yo ho ho” over all this self-important stuff.
RIDE: Although the ride begins with a dark orchestration, it quickly moves past that and into THAT song — “Yo, ho. Yo, ho. It’s a pirates life for me.” It’s played so much — either instrumentally or with chorus that it sticks in the brain, staying with a person long after the ride is over.
SETTING
MOVIE: White sand, lush green jungle, deep blue water, brown wood ships. Landscapes in “Pirates” are but colors on the perimeter as the camera either lingers over Knightley’s face or whirls from one action sequence to another.
RIDE: Amid a sea of tourists at either Disneyland or Disney World.
——
asap reporters Chelsea J. Carter and Ryan Pearson are no pirates. | Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register. |
|
|  | "Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth." | |
|  | We're not that bright, even though in our own little world, we're geniuses. We like 80s hair bands and one-hit wonders, but among us we have respectable tastes, too. Metallica, Iron Maiden, U2. Pursuit of all things trivial is a lifestyle, not just a game. We like some sports, love other sports, and can find something to say about anything. We watch TV and movies and we've read a book or two, even a few classics (Yes, Classic Comics count!)
We call it insight, you call it what you will. | |
|  | Felix Wong is an outdoor enthusiast living in Fort Collins. A mechanical engineer by day, he is especially passionate about bicycling, running, and backpacking. | |
|  | Hola Amigos! I'm Sandra. I like to believe that people are 70 percent good and 30 percent dumb. I'm stickin to that story. Reading this blog might make you want to be good, but probably just dumb. | |
|  | Donovan Henderson is editor of NEXTnc. | |
|  | Here at Nextnc we have some characters. Get a sneak peak behind the curtain and find out what amusing antics our staffers get themselves into on a weekly basis. | |
|  | What is up FoCo?
I am a recent college graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead. After recieving my B.A. in English and Mass Communications this past August I moved down to Colorado.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and heavy metal. My hobbies include reading and writing, music, movies, and getting drunk. Some of my favorite contemporary authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. My top movies are anything directed by Kubrick. I enjoy listening to anything that rocks.
Right now I am just trying to get to know Colorado and FoCo better. Mostly in order to find the best drink specials on each day that ends in Y. So if you know where I can get a cheap drunk on, let me know!
--Drew | |
|  | Life's little morsels of inspiration, observation and encouragement seen through the eyes of the Nextnc reporter.
| |
|  | Ms. Giles currently lives in Colorado where she stars in her own private reality show. She writes aphoristic accounts of her life, taken completely out of context, and embellished with characters and situations disguised to resemble something close to interesting. | |
|  | over and out | |
| | My name is Michelle Turley and I'm 28 years old. I live in Severance with my hubbie, Brandon. We have 2 dogs and a cat. We enjoy camping, four-wheeling, and just being in the mountains. I like to cook, clean (go figure), flea market, and play poker. I have so much to say about poker... | |
| |
