It must be that time of year again to start frantically looking for gifts for Mom and scribbling greeting cards to the ex-boss among seemingly hundreds of others. How do I know this? Because some people (particularly those of the far Christian right) in the country have already been making a big deal about "will Wal-Mart be posting signs saying 'Merry Christmas' instead of 'Happy Holidays' to us this year?"

Never mind that "Happy Holidays" already means "Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Yule, Saturnalia, Winter Solstice, or whatever holiday you choose to celebrate." Also never mind that none of these holidays were originally conceived to be such a commercial spectacle that most religions' gods might not have approved of if they actually existed.

No, I have another question regarding Wal-Mart it is a little more basic than Christmas or other typical Wal-Mart political issues that have already been noted ad nauseum in articles and documentaries such as "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price."

How about this: "Are Wal-Mart workers among the most unhappy and incompetent employees in the nation?"

Now, I know this might seem a little harsh. And of course, when there are hundreds of thousands of Wal-Mart workers, there have to be some examples among them who are cheerier than Ronald McDonald and more capable than the high-school juniors working at his burger joints. I just have yet to meet them. Perhaps this is because I generally only visit Wal-Mart 2-5 times a year, usually at some ungodly hour when no other store is open and I need something desperately. (One good thing about Wal-Mart.)

Here's a list of the things that happen almost every time I have gone to a Wal-Mart (for some reason, it doesn't seem to matter what state or city the store is in:)

1. The Wal-Mart "greeters" (the ones standing inside the front doors) rarely even greet you, making one wonder if they are there to serve any purpose (maybe look for shoplifters?)

2. I ask for help in finding something, and I am either told that I should ask someone else, or something like, "Go to [such-and-such] department; if it's not there then we must not have it." (Gee, thanks!)

3. If not #2 above, then the associate is completely flustered when asked if the store has something or not, or even denies the store having it. Then it turns out the object is sitting, say, right behind where they're standing!

4. Many employees are flipping through a clothes rack as if they are sorting them or doing something useful, but are still there 30 minutes later as if they were just pretending to work.

5. The cashiers -- if they even talk to you -- mumble and act as if it's a crime for them to look at you in the eye (or face) or wear anything but a frown.

I am so accustomed to this "Wal-Mart experience" that it hardly bothers me anymore (in fact, now I fully expect it), but it does make me chuckle when some people get uptight about how Wal-Mart employees make reference to certain holidays.

Heck, who cares whether or not they say "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays." Personally, I'd settle for them just trying to be helpful, or to actually flash a smile once in awhile!

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