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Written by Kerry Stumpff
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Wednesday, 19 July 2006 |
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Americans are often criticized for supersizing everything. But it has been my experience that bigger IS almost always better.
Here are just a few examples off the top of my head:
• Paper towels – See photos below. The order goes German, German “Super Size,” and normal American.
 • Toilet paper – Again, see photo below. American TP on the left, German on the right.
• Toiletries. Shampoo, lotion, toothpaste, etc. German left, American right
• Men’s bathing suits. For Germans, think Speedo, think thong.
• Refrigerators. Think hotel minibar. With ours, there is also no freezer. I spent about 10 minutes opening cabinets and going through the house looking for a freezer. I was in disbelief that this tiny refrigerator was all that they provided. I’m fine with a rental that just leaves an empty space where you supply your own refrigerator/freezer, but come on. They honestly think giving you a dorm-sized refrigerator is all you need?
• Showers. I’ve figured out why European women don’t shave their legs — there is no room in the showers. Every time I bend over to reach my leg or pick something up off the floor of the shower, my butt hits the faucet handle and turns off the water. I really don’t think many Europeans use the actual shower stall for bathing.
I think they make do with the hand-held shower head in all of the tubs, but for the life of me I can’t figure out how to accomplish washing my hair without also hosing down the rest of the bathroom. I’ve tried scrunching down on my back, having my back face the wall so that I’m spraying the wall, even kneeling and putting my forehead on the bottom of the tub…. still, water all over the bathroom.
I guess it’s something that will always be a mystery to me, along with what the purpose of a bidet and how you actually use it.
So, on to shopping.
Things you (or at least I) can’t find in a German grocery store:
1) Oatmeal
2) Brown sugar
3) Soup (familiar varieties like chicken noodle, lentil, etc.)
4) Fat free, cold milk
5) Frozen corn
6) Bleach
7) A variety of fresh fruits and vegetables
8) Chocolate chips
9) Liquid dishwasher soap
10) Canned pumpkin
11) Baking soda
12) Jalapeños, or ANYTHING spicy
Things you CAN find in a German grocery store:
1) Leotards
2) Men’s thong underwear
3) Brats, brats and more brats (that’s bratwurst, not my kids)
4) Hard alcohol and good, cheap wine
5) A tent
6) A little girl’s pink tutu
7) Room temperature milk
8) Every kind of ketchup you can think of (Mexican, curry, garlic, salsa).
The funny thing is that with all of these ketchups, you’d think they would dole it out in handfuls at fast food restaurants. Not the case. You get one small packet for every order of fries, and then after that you pay for each packet.
9) Porn magazines, with naked pictures on the front, out in the open for little boys to see and ask, “What’s that lady doing?” | Only registered users can write comments.
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