Marriage: It's not what it used to be. (AP Photo)

It's Friday evening and TenEyck Lansing, a 27-year-old investor in Denver, is getting ready for a night on the town.

Lansing has been officially off the market for nearly a year, but he and his fiancée, Lynette Picconi, 25, still enjoy going out with friends -- and he doesn't see that changing. They're among the couples in their 20s and 30s who are changing the frumpy old definition of "married life."

"I think a more drastic lifestyle change happens when people start having babies," said Lansing, whose married friends still go out. "A wedding is more a confession of love and a celebration instead of the beginning of a lifestyle change."

Once upon a time, marriage meant bed by 9 p.m. after a homemade dinner, with 2.4 kids and a dog all clustered around the evening news. Or at least that's what television would have us believe.

These days, as couples push back their wedding dates and extend their adolescence, social life has changed for the married set. They might not bar-hop through the meat markets anymore -- and invitations from single friends may dwindle -- but they're doing their best to preserve the outings they've always enjoyed.

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OLDER, BUT WISER?

In the last decade the median age for marriage has increased by about a year to 26.7 years for men and 25.1 for women, according to Census figures. But that doesn't mean they're more mature, said Faye Peterson, a licensed professional counselor in Boulder, Colo.

"The entitlement generation (20- and 30-somethings) often lack the independence and maturity of previous generations," said Peterson. "The idea that nothing changes once you are married does not make sense, and that idea is really is a reflection of our society."

Older couples may be more set in their partying ways than their parents and grandparents were by the time they got married. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

"After September 11, and with what is happening in the world today, the younger generation just wants to have fun," Peterson said. "There is a sense that the world may not be here tomorrow."

Keeping an active social life might even be healthy; a British study last year found that recreation, staying socially active and having a close social network all help people stay healthier in old age.

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LOVE AND THE NIGHTLIFE

Stephanie Toda, 33, works at a spa in Manhattan and is convinced that keeping a social life is an important part of a happy marriage. Toda is recently divorced and blames that in part on the fact that she and her husband never went out -- together or separately.

"I have advised all my friends to keep their lifestyle even when they get married," said Toda. "People go through the motions of getting married sometimes and forget to talk about things like, 'What happens when we get married? Will we still go out at night?' It's really important to still have fun, get dinner, and get out."

When Kate Lawrence thought about how marriage would change her life, she briefly wondered if her nightlife would end. Then she realized she had found a man who also liked going out -- and saying "I do" wouldn't change that.

"I still seem to go out a lot and the couples I know also still go out plenty," the 26-year-old attorney in Carlisle, Pa., said. "The only difference is that now I go out with my husband."

As for Lansing, he has only high hopes and excitement for his upcoming wedding.

"Guys joke and say 'It's your last night of freedom' which is so false," said Lansing. "My last night as a free man happened a long time ago. I won't see much of a social change when I get married, I'll still go out. I'll just have more time to be with Lynette."

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asap contributor Maya Ellman is a freelance writer.

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